The Most Difficult Year to Get into College in the History of the World

Registration and Globalization

I have managed to keep up this blog for over a year without referring to the days when you:

- applied to just three schools

- got into all three

- spent $3K tops per year on tuition

- enrolled in Psychology, Philosophy, Film and a course about Malcolm X

- took over the library

- then, providing you could type, you could find an entry-level job in the field of your choice without anyone ever asking you where you attended college, what you had studied, what your GPA was or how many years it took you to graduate.

Now, of course, everything is different...and the Registration Process seems to have changed just as much as the Admissions Process.  One inevitable earth-friendly innovation is that there is no longer a hard copy of the Schedule of Classes.  Course descriptions are now listed online, but not in a readable way.  (Imagine the Manhattan phone book - You would never read it on the internet the way you would glance through the pages of the real thing.) 

So never again will students get to pore over a thick catalog, crossing out the Nursing and ROTC classes, circling Political Science and Communications, contemplating all the fascinating possibilities that are available.

Because CJ doesn't know what he's missing, he doesn't really care that his school only provides a virtual schedule of classes.  In fact, he barely glanced at the offerings and instead chose his classes with the help of his three upperclass friends by text messages, a phone conversation (!) and even a lunch (!!). 

They gave him advice like "Don't take Calculus, Chemistry or Spanish - they're all too hard." (Too bad those happen to be CJ's strongest subjects.)  Other suggestions involved not signing up for anything before 11 AM, checking out teachers on ratemyprofessor.com and a big hint about an entire department known for its easy A's (can't divulge that one here...would have to kill you.) 

The three upperclassman didn't completely neglect "love of learning" courses.  They each suggested 2-3 life-changing professors, but, alas, their classes all had long waiting lists.

So the Neurotic Parent, who never once helped choose a class for CJ in high school, felt compelled to step in and find some interesting classes.

And in no time I discovered the REAL reason why colleges have stopped printing catalogs: Today's classes all deal with the same common theme - Globalization.  In just a quick look-see, I found 72 classes that point out that It's a Globalized World After All...for instance:

- "Globalization and Domestic Politics" 

- "Labor, Gender and Globalization"

- "Globalization and Public Health Discourse"

- "India in a Global Age"'

- Even a Capstone seminar in Canadian Globalization (Hmm...are the rest of you as surprised as I am that our neighbor to the north has become globalized?) 

Sadly, the Neurotic Parent Institute has determined that CJ's school is not the only institution that has become obsessed with the "G" buzzword.  In a shocking development, a newly-funded NPI study has show that colleges EVERYWHERE are dumping their catalogs supposedly for ecological reasons, but in fact we are experiencing a massive international cover up designed to prevent students from realizing that the majority of college classes are now Globalization-related.  Even universities in China and India and Iceland and Ghana and Dubai and Brazil have jumped on the bandwagon...Wow - I wonder how all those countries decided to do the same thing at the same time.  Maybe there's a class I could take that could explain this unprecedented phenomenon.

FreshMen/Gender Studies

CJ found out his housing assignment last week.  The dorm, although not ideally located, has a common room with ping pong, foosball, billiards and video games, so he's all set there.  And the roommate sounds great - a smart team captain from a mid-Atlantic state who, like CJ, attended a small, progressive private school.  A computer randomly assigned them to each other, and unlike other universities which require students to fill out elaborate forms for roommate matching, CJ's school just asked four questions (with CJ's answers in parentheses):

Q: Do you smoke? (A: No)

Q: What time do you go to sleep? (A: Varies)

Q: What time do you get up? (A: Varies)

Q: Do you listen to music when studying (A: Yes - Does this mean they BOTH will listen to different music at the same time, or that his roommate doesn't listen to music, but doesn't care if his partner is noisy?)

Congrats to the computer program for what seems to have been a stellar job of matchmaking considering the minimalist nature of the above questions.  Other colleges ask if you hang up your clothes, whether you've shared a room before, if you prefer classical to hip hop, and to identify your favorite flavor of ramen noodles.  Although I secretly hoped CJ would be assigned an African prince, I'm sure there will be one or two down the hall, and it won't be such a bad thing to live with someone with a similar background.

But although this seems to be a match made in heaven, CJ has been reluctant to communicate with his new roommate.  While girls we know have been planning color schemes, exchanging long lists of favorite films and sharing class schedules, CJ and his roomie have each sent each other just one two-line private message on Facebook.  When I suggested that he find out his new pal's phone number, my son looked at me as if I were insane.  Okay then, how about finding out where he lives, his summer plans or whether he's bringing the refrigerator or the microwave? 

Mortally embarrassed to use any method of communication other than instant messaging, CJ said he will wait until they both happen to be on Facebook and then send possibly initiate a chat, he said.  I guess they must have asked a fifth question, which I did not see:

Q: Would you ever consider using any technology other than Facebook (email, a land line, cell phone, snail mail, I-chat, AIM, texting) to contact your new roommate? (A: No way...those are for girls)

Reentry/Letting Go

Returned from bonding with the blue-footed boobies just in time to:

- attend the Southern California Accepted Students' Reception for CJ's new school

- find out CJ's roommate and dorm assignment

- discover that the new computer we ordered ten days ago for CJ is now practically obsolete; a superior new upgraded model is now available for $300 less (normally we would scream and yell until we got our money back, but we don't want to get into a fight with CJ's college's computer store)

- send in first monthly payment for CJ's education - a figure equal to twice the cost of my first year of college

- face the deadline for course selection; everything that interests CJ is only offered on T/Th, so for the moment, he is considering a schedule that gives him four days off a week.

Those are the highlights.  Here are the details:

THE RECEPTION:

In spite of my vacation afterglo, I argued with CJ about proper attire....then finally gave in and "allowed" him to attend in a tee shirt and jeans.  This decison was influenced by a book "Letting Go", which is about how to preserve your sanity and your relationship with your college-bound child. I must disclose that I have not started it yet, but it is sitting next to my bed and I'm sure it would say that it is time to give up trying to control what your child wears. 

It turned out that half of the boys at the event were dressed exactly like CJ and the other half showed up in preppy outfits that I had never seen anyone wear around here, all probably chosen by parents who have not yet Let Go (95% percent of the adults I spoke to at the event were corporate attorneys). 

 CJ mingled effortlessly with his future classmates, and later said that he could see himself becoming good friends with three of them, and that only one was "really weird". 

Sports Bar in Quito?

I was going to blog about analogies between going off to college and our upcoming vacation to the Galapagos Islands, an expensive, provocative, life-changing destination that shakes it up, inspiring deep scientific thought. 

But I have a more important task tonight: I am trying to locate a venue in the capital of Ecuador where my boys can watch their beloved Lakers in the NBA finals on Tuesday night. 

I appreciate all suggestions...and also your patience - My next entry might not be until after we snorkel with the sea lions.  But by then I will have a lot of material about roommate selection, dining plans and an upcoming local admitted students get-together.

 

Circumstance sans Pomp

I am pleased to report that both CJ and I have both survived his high school graduation.  The whole process was as tiring as childbirth for me, and I have just woken up after sleeping for three days.

The ceremony achieved a perfect balance of non-pretentious tradition and individuality - four musical numbers performed by Julliard-bound kids and students whose rock bands perform regularly at the Roxy.  The final piece - Somewhere Over the Rainbow - a cello and ukelele duet, was the most moving and just the thought of it still makes me tear up. 

Our school doesn't have sals or vals...Any interested student can give a speech if the headmaster and deans approve.  The three who spoke were clever and articulate, and collectively captured the strong feelings everyone has for our quirky school.  The main speaker, selected by student vote, was the legendary math teacher/ping pong champion who CJ the mathematician never had as an instructor...I found myself thinking what if about all h.s. opportunities he missed - (like art, drama and film...don't get me started).  But in general, he had an serendipitiously perfect experience: exposure to problem solving and self awareness, activities he was passionate about, close bonds with teachers, lifelong friends. 

CJ sat on stage between a girl who has been his buddy since pre-school, once a tiny waif with a lisp, and a boy he's known since birth, who iconoclastically wore no shoes or clothing under his robe.  We had a perfect view of our son, and the 14.7 megapixel snapshot of him in his cap and gown is now forever immortalized on my Facebook page, along with dozens of emotional comments from my oldest friends.

Hugs...photos...encounters with past teachers and countless alumni...then dinner with our whole extended family...platters of kobe beef, black cod and spicy tuna on crispy rice.  Seven other families with seniors chose to celebrate at the same place, and one mom treated all of the grads who came of age that evening to shots of sake.

NEXT: GRAD NIGHT

Countdown to Commencement 2009

Tomorrow at 4:30.  Can it really be?

Survived the Senior Breakfast, the Prom Photo Op and the Pre-K Reunion - and the 50th birthday of one of my youngest friends.  Now it's the night before graduation...and the Neurotic Parent Institute has documented that even the least neurotic parents in the grade have become basket cases. 

Some ubiquitous developmental issues:

- Spending hours going through photos, posting them on Facebook, emailing them back and forth, choking up about not just how cute your grad was...but at what a young-looking mom you once were.

- Agonizing over whether to give the grad a gift (in addition to the requisite $2000 computer...and the $200k college education.)

- Discovering in horror that your prom photos are blurry and you need a new camera

- Doing hours of online research about which camera to get

- Deciding at the last moment to self-publish a book for your grad because you're not the scrapbooking type and you have 18 years of memorabilia stacked up in large industrial tupperware containers.  So you spend hours selecting precious art works and research papers to include in a gift from the heart...but then you realize that it will be a lot easier to do a photo montage.

- Abandoning the montage idea because choosing the music proves to be too much to handle emotionally

- Deciding at the last moment to write a poem for your grad...but getting stuck when it comes to the tone: should it be comedic (for him) or poignant (for you)?

- Being interrupted from your poetry writing by a group of 18 hungry Lakers fans who have stopped by unannounced to watch Game 5.

- Realizing suddenly you have nothing to wear, especially nothing that looks good with flats (no heels allowed on the turf)

- Calling various parents of the Class of 2008 for advice about what time to arrive and where to park.

- Developing what you think is stress-related carpal tunnel syndrome and finding out it's stress-related pre-arthritis. 

- Accepting that not only has your baby grown up, but that suddenly you are the mother of...an adult.

School's Out...Forever

Yesterday at 3 PM the bell rang and the entire senior class squeezed onto an outdoor stage for a group hug.  Then they lit up cigars - not a very P.C. tradition (at the most P.C school on the planet), but symbolic nonetheless.  They may have had senioritis for the last 3 months, but now they can slack off as much as they want...they're done.

CJ didn't come straight home because he had also graduated from Traffic School this weekend and  had to deliver his certificate to the courthouse.  But my younger son BH (who experienced his own milestone yesterday - no more braces) brought home the yearbook - the best I have ever seen...so cool, with such cutting edge design, impressive illustrations and clever copy that I want to send CJ back for another four years to experience the studio art and creative writing classes he never signed up for. 

Laughing and crying as I went through the pages, I decided that we had indeed made an excellent choice in sending our kids to a quirky progressive school rather than to a more cookie cutter institution.  After all, it's the journey, not the destination (not that CJ's destination is too shabby).  I felt proud of my own son, but mostly in awe of the class as a whole...so many of them are already producing collectible art, important music and readable prose.  And those who are just normal kids still came up with entertaining, insightful and self-effacing "most likely to's" for themselves. 

- Most likely to spike the punch with lemonade

- Most likely to survive because of what he learned on the Discovery Channel

- Most likely to become Japanese

- Most likely to have gone through a phase of being your friend

- Most likely to beat up his opponent after losing in the semi-finals at the ping pong world championship

- Most likely to quote from "Friends" in her wedding vows

- Most likely to have a font named after him

- Most likely to have an overly suggestive senior page (photo shows student proposing to his history teacher)

- Most likely to owe more in alimony than student loans

- Most likely to teach her children the wrong colors

- Most likely to hit on your grandfather at graduation

These kids may not have memorized the Preamble to the Constitution, but they are ALL ready to work for Jon Stewart.  If CJ stays in touch with just a fraction of the Class of 2009, he won't need to make any connections in college because there is a creative energy in his midst that transcends college choice.

My one disappointment with the yearbook? CJ's senior photo is ridiculous. Another tradition in our progressive school - on par with the cigars - is to pose for a silly photo, the kind you would take in a photo booth.  (Somehow I never knew about this custom or saw the embarrassingly juvenile portrait of my son until yesterday, even though it's on his student I.D.)  So CJ's main yearbook photo shows him wearing a too-small baseball cap and holding a large....wooden fish.  Seven or eight of his close friends are also photographed with same nautical artifact, making funny faces.  This was their first stab at performance art, which has a time and a place, but in this case unfortunately was captured for posterity.   The Neurotic Parent fears that CJ's grandchildren will notice the random fish and the dumb baseball cap and come to a conclusion that their grandfather was a nutcase - or else just a really happy teen with many Friends for Life.

Season Finale

So, after an 18-year run, it's time for the finale of our children's childhoods.

If you have a high school senior, I hope you don't have a time-consuming job, because there's an event practically every day and every night, all leading up to the end of Parenting as you know it.

Typical Schedule for Senior Parents (taken from my calendar), rated by quantity of Kleenex :(K-KKKK)

- Varsity Soccer Play-offs/Awards Party - KK

- Senior Parent Separation Night - KK

- Final Club Soccer National Cup Semi-finals - KK

- Last Meal at In 'n Out Following the Quarter-finals in the Inland Empire - K

- "Lifers" Assembly - Graduating K-12 seniors share memories and impart wisdom to tiny kids from the elementary school...it truly was just yesterday that our own children were so little - KKKK

- Senior Dog Day (bring your best friend to school - our over-retrieving pet loved AP Calc BC) - KK

- Last Regular Season Volleyball Game - Senior moms get a rose - KKKK

- Final MRI/ER visit of regular season volleyball - KK

- Club Soccer Awards Dinner - KK (CJ had to miss this because of above injury, but after thirteen years of soccer, this was a real tearjerker)

- Senior Show - KKKK (and I don't even have a kid in theater)

- Last Taco Dinner Delivered by the Neurotic Parent to Journalism Class during Newspaper Production - K

- Trip to tux rental place (the salesman asked CJ what color his prom date's dress was, and he found out by text that it was...turquoise) - K

- Final Grad Night Committee Meeting (I am part of a secret society planning a sober all-night activity to follow Graduation) - K

-Senior Boys Day (this was an event at another school, but I cried just hearing about it) - KKKK

UPCOMING (all in a period of eight days) - Volleyball Award Night, Prom Photo Op, Preschool Moms Coffee, Pre-K BBQ Reunion/Grad Party, Parent Association Thank You Breakfast, Senior Breakfast/Awards, Lifers Cocktail Party, Senior Dinner at Headmaster's House, Graduation, Grad Night, Post-Grad Night Breakfast , Summer of Xanax, and then on to that life-changing mid-August weekend - Move-In, which thankfully they don't call Move-Out...but isn't that what it really is?

Qs from Readers

Q: So what school did CJ end up picking? Did I miss the decision in an earlier post?

A: If you can find me on Facebook, as one astute (Harvard-educated) reader did, I will reveal the name of the school.  Otherwise I have been instructed to wait and "tell all" in the book.

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Q: I have been trying to reach you on the gmail address, but my emails keep bouncing back.

A: Don't forget the "the":  theneuroticparent@gmail.com

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Q: I just read your blog. Hilarious! Please don't stop when you send CJ off to Dream school. I've got a 2010 and 2012 and would love to follow along with you and BH.

I want to subscribe but there seems to be a bug in the subscription link. Would you please check it out and let me know when it's fixed. (Or if the problem is my own user error.)

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A: Thanks for your kind words.  I emailed the nice folks at Typepad about this.  Here is their response:

"Hi there, Thanks for contacting us.  When I view the feed validator results, it looks like you are copying and pasting some content from another application, such as Word.  Microsoft Word's formatting code does not work well when merged with the Rich Text editor. Copying content from Word can cause formatting problems, error messages, and feed validation problems.  The code that is copied over into your posts when pasting from Word is the source of the issue with your feed. The issue with Microsoft Word formatting code is not unique toTypePad's Rich Text Editor. Any editor that copies over formatting will cause issues such as this - because the code that Microsoft Word inserts is not web-compatible."

Are they kidding - Microsoft Word is not kosher for bloggers - Who knew? Now they want me to go back and change all the posts I composed in incompatible formatting codes?!?  I would even have to replace the answer I just pasted above (from an email).  Sounds like a great summer project for a student intern.  No pay, but a great resume builder. 

Meanwhile, sorry about not being able to subscribe, but you can get to the blog easily by going to www.theneuroticparent.com  Don't forget the "the" or you'll end up at the blog of the parent of a toddler who is paranoid about germs.

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Q: Was the Oberlin story a fictionalized version of our story?  If not, it's a huge coincidence.  Several months after receiving big envelopes from 8 or 9 school and having resolved his Wesleyan/Oberlin debate, SFB (Smart, Funny Bohemian) was dragging his feet about writing a gap year request letter. I said I'd print out the mailing label for him and went into the envelope to see exactly to whom it should be addressed. There was an un-opened business size letter included among the various forms;  when I opened it there was his merit scholarship - but it was only for $32,000. Could always be more, but better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.

A: "A poke in the eye with a sharp stick"?!?...You sound like you're from Ohio, not Beverly Hills! I do fictionalize info on this blog, especially about the the LACs, but the Oberlin story was NOT yours - It referred to a 2009 HS. graduate, not a 2008 gap year grad, like your son SFB.  I do now remember that you DID tell me that story.  Maybe everyone who gets into Oberlin finds a scholarship after coming to a decision.  There is something so beautiful about that, cosmically justifying teenage flakiness.

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Q: Help! Where should I stay for parents' day at Carleton College in Northfield, Minnesota?  Everything is already booked!

A: Make sure you accept a spot on the waiting list of your top B&B.  Write an additional essay, and keep updating the innkeepers with news of any recent honors or awards you have won.  And above all, don't give up hope.  You will end up in the right place for you.

Oberlin or No Oberlin - Strange But True Admissions Stories

One of CJ's classmates, TMTK (Talented Musical Theater Kid) was fortunate to receive acceptances to several of his top choice colleges.  After much deliberation, he narrowed his list down to two schools - Oberlin and Middlebury, then spent the next 15 days vascillating.  Finally, on the evening of April 31st, one day before deposits were due, TMTK called his parents from a rehearsal and told them that he had finally had made up his mind. 

He said he would be attending....Oberlin.

Thrilled that he had reached a decision (and worried that he would change his choice again), TMTK's parents volunteered to send in the acceptance card right then and there.  TMTK agreed and told his dad where to find the Big Envelope with the Oberlin info.  The smart father entered his son's room, and located the card.  But there, underneath his pile of acceptances there was a small unopened envelope, also from Oberlin.  The dad tore it open and found a letter from Oberlin stating that TMTK was the proud recipient of a $50,000 scholarship...an unexpected award that proved that there IS a higher being making sure that "they all end up in the right place".

 

Yale or No Yale - Final, Definitive Results

Time for the long-awaited decisions of three "embarrassment of riches" kids I know.  All received acceptances to Yale as well as to Harvard, Stanford, Princeton, Brown, Williams, Duke, etc. etc. 

I know I promised to post these results on May 1st and feel terrible that my curious readers have had to wait an extra day, but I have some excellent excuses for my tardiness:

- Day job obligations took me to far-away meetings with low-battery Blackberry.

- Volunteered to help at time-consuming and emotionally-draining kindergarten reunion assembly

- Just when I thought it was all over, soccer mom stress escalated to a new high.  Look for a future post about the National Cup quarter finals, CJ's debilitating illness, the intrepid juniors who had to take their SAT IIs in Temecula (or race there from Calabasas), our teams' amazing PKs, and the urgent care doctor who proclaimed CJ free of all strains of influenza, including Swine. 

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Now, back to the Yale results:

STUDENT A - East coast science genius/language prize winner/tennis captain/future Nobel winner accepted at Yale (EA), Harvard, Princeton, Penn, Duke, Williams, Amherst & Swarthmore.  FINAL DECISION: YALE!

STUDENT B - West coast superhuman musical genius/class president/basketball hero/future U.S. president accepted at Yale (EA), Harvard & Stanford.  FINAL DECISION: YALE! (Received gracious phone call from Harvard admissions office wishing him luck.)

STUDENT C - West coast out-of-the-box genius/three-sport athlete/next Steve Jobs/double Yale legacy deferred EA, then accepted RD at Yale, Brown, Penn, Wash U, Rice &Tufts.  Visited all six on his own last week. FINAL DECISION:  BROWN!

So it's two Yales, one Brown.  Imagine the feeling of the click that turns down Harvard, Stanford, Princeton...or Yale.  It's a good thing that the offspring of the Neurotic Parent did not have such a decision to make - CJ would probably not ever have glanced back at the roads not taken, but certainly I would have agonized about his missed opportunities for years.

Will keep you updated about the progress of these decisive young men, who are not only talented students, but know themselves well enough to select a school that's the right fit.

TOMORROW: Oberlin or No Oberlin (First in a series of Strange-But-True college admissions tales.)

Rejection Letters from the Heart

Lately everyone is too depressed to read news about financial matters, so the Wall Street Journal is reinventing itself as the ultimate source of information about college admissions.  Their latest piece is about rejection letters...both really mean and really nice.

http://online.wsj.com/article_email/SB124096471555766239-lMyQjAxMDI5NDIwOTkyNjk0Wj.html

1.THE CRUELEST - BATES

Surprising, the cruelest rejection comes from sweet little Bates in Maine:

"The deans were obliged to select from among candidates who clearly could do sound work at Bates."

2.  THE MOST FINAL - STANFORD

The Stanford deans were afraid that kids would try to beg for a second chance, the way you can for the UC's.

"We are humbled by your talents and achievements...and although you are...a fine student...we are not able to consider appeals."

3. THE MOST HUMANE - DUKE

Duke hired a team of Buddhists to pen their rejection letter:

"I know you will find an institution at which you will be happy; I know, too, that the school you choose will benefit from your presence."

4. THE MOST EXISTENTIAL - HARVARD

Of all places, Harvard lets the rejectees know the truth - After you've wasted your youth on AP's and SAT IIs, it turns out that it really doesn't matter where you go to college.

"Past experience suggests that the particular college a student attends is far less important than what the student does to develop his or her strengths and talents over the next four years."

And...not in the WSJ, here's a quote from The Neurotic Parent's favorite rejection letter.  It arrived in the mail of a friend on April 1st:

5.  THE MOST SHOCKING - POMONA

"As you know, your daughter Olivia was denied admission to Pomona College.  We feel compelled to inform you that this was due to information that her guidance counselor provided to our admissions department.  We are concerned about Olivia's recent vandalism spree in a place of worship, and therefore cannot offer her a place in the class of 2013."

This turned out to be April Fools joke written by Olivia herself on "Pomona" stationery which she had created by scanning the font from her real rejection letter.  After her poor parents recovered, they framed the letter and came to the realization that the kind Harvard admissions guy was right: Their daughter will go on to be a superstar, even though she didn't get into Pomona.

Bragging Rights

A one-way ticket three time zones away for my sweet little child, who is suddenly a buff, hairy man -My depression was relieved only by the satisfacton that I had booked on a Tuesday, and therefore had found a fabulous deal on all our flights.  Yes, those of us in the know are aware that if you wait until Tuesday to purchase, you can snap up a ticket that would have cost twice as much on a Thursday or a Monday.

I was feeling good, okay...almost smug, about the series of tickets I had reserved - for parents weekend, Thanksgiving (changeable because I used mileage) and now move-in. 

But then my friend MOWCG/M (Mom of World Class Goalie/Musician) called and told me about her friend, whose son is currently in Boston for the Harvard admitted students weekend.  Not only did this smart mother book her son's flight on a Tuesday, but she brilliantly spent the entire day checking the fluctuation of the fare, refreshing the page over and over until the price of a round trip from LAX to BOS had gone down from $438 to $156! 

Yes, she should be proud that her son got into Harvard.  But that pales next to her internet ticket-booking skills.

Yale or No Yale - The Regular Decision Edition

A few months ago I posted the stats of three kids we know who applied Early Action to Yale.  Some details were disguised (i.e. Varsity Cross Country could be Varsity Tennis; Varsity Baseball could be Varsity Basketball; a double legacy could actually be a multi-generational legacy), but basically the thumbnail descriptions were accurate.

If you remember, Students A and B, profiled below, were both accepted to Yale in the Early Action round.  (Early Action, unlike Early Decision, means you can still apply to other schools...so if accepted, Yale can be your safety!)  Student C was deferred, but took it in stride.

So...is it Yale or No Yale for these kids?  Did Students A & B find an even better school in Regular Decision?  Did Student C get accepted, waitlisted or rejected?  Scroll down for the answer.  Look for the CAPS after each boy's profile.

Student A:

Caucasion male.  Attends top public school in a mid-Atlantic state.  Ranked #1 in his school.  2380 SAT, no prep, one sitting.  Captain, Varsity Cross Country.  Won a language prize and scholarship to spend a semester abroad as an exchange student.  Selected to do research in prestigous summer program - his evaluator said the student has the one of the greatest scientific minds he has ever encountered.

RESULT: ACCEPTED AT YALE, EARLY ACTION.  ALSO ACCEPTED REGULAR DECISION AT HARVARD, PRINCETON, PENN, DUKE, WILLIAMS, AMHERST AND SWARTHMORE. In the last two weeks he has overnighted at Harvard and Penn and attended an accepted student event at Princeton (where his mom reports there was a fabulous spread for the parents.)  Now he is headed to New Haven on Saturday where he will decide - Yale or No Yale.

Student B:

Caucasion male.  Attends top private school in a western state.  2380 SAT, no prep, one sitting.  4.0 unweighed.  School president.  Varsity Baseball.  Star of every school play - Performed at European arts festival.  Winner of national competitions for two musical instruments. 

RESULT: ACCEPTED, EARLY ACTION.  ALSO ACCEPTED REGULAR DECISION AT HARVARD AND STANFORD. Headed to New Haven on Saturday, then to Cambridge next Saturday. (Has already attended a summer program at Stanford so he's not planning a visit there.)

Student C:

Caucasion male.  Double legacy at Yale.  Attends small private school in a western state.  Three-sport athelete. 2310 SAT, superscore.  A bona fide genius - 3.9 unweighted without studying.  Several computer science awards.  Started his own internet business - has many customers in Asia.

RESULT: DEFERRED AT YALE EARLY ACTION, BUT...ACCEPTED REGULAR DECISION!!!!  ALSO ACCEPTED AT BROWN, PENN, WASH U, TUFTS AND BERKELEY.  Headed to New Haven this weekend and to Providence shortly thereafter.

Coming on May 1- Yale or No Yale: The Definitive Results

How to Reach the Neurotic Parent

Q:  I have stories too long for comment. How do I reach you?

A:  Starting April 18th at theneuroticparent@gmail.com

The End of a Mini-Series

We returned home safely from Belize a few days ago.  We're enjoying our bug-free, snake-free accomodations, but all of us do miss the jungle and the all-night chants of the howler monkeys.

While on vacation CJ was very uncooperative about finding out his friends' college results.  He did let us know that Mr. 2400 had been accepted to Stanford and that CF (Clippers Fan) would be headed to Cornell, but stubbornly refused to even peruse any of his friends' Facebook pages to find out where they would and would not be going. 

I,the Neurotic Parent, faced obstacles in my own investigation.  I tried to contact HOMFTE (Highly Organized Mom of Future Top Engineer), who had been maintaining a spreadsheet of the results of kids in CJ's grade, but she was on the Nile celebrating her son's acceptance to Johns Hopkins.  I did reach the MFFMD (Mom of Future Famous MD), who let me know that her son had been accepted to Williams (after being deferred), plus Dartmouth, Wesleyan, Tufts, Berkeley and UCLA.  And I managed to get news about the students featured in my Yale or No Yale post (more about this tomorrow).  But there was hardly any other substantiated news about CJ's classmates, teammates and former pre-school buddies.

I was not alone in my uninfomed status.  Other parents emailed, reporting that their boys "knew nothing" and were doing little to get updates about their friends.  CJ's high school's Naviance site, which reports college statistics, showed that students in his class had been accepted to Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Penn, Brown, Dartmouth, Columbia, Stanford, MIT, Duke, Northwestern, Julliard and Williams, but on closer inspection, it seemed that many of these decisions were old news (ED and EA) or might have reflected multiple positive results for the same students.

After 24 hours at home, many calls from parents, (including several from other schools) and continued silence from CJ, the Neurotic Parent just HAD to know.  As another Mom said, not finding out the results after all this was like missing the last episode of a mini-series. 

So I broke down and called a Girl in CJ's class.  Within minutes I had an accurate, comprehensive list of acceptances, denials and waitlist hopefuls, plus details about who was deciding between two or three schools. 

As I theorized, a few of the top spots went to the same lucky/talented students.  A girl who had gotten into Yale EA had been admitted to Princeton.  And another girl received offers from both Princeton AND Harvard.  Shockingly, although CJ attends a tiny school and has taken many of the most challenging classes, I had never even heard of one of these girls and barely knew who the other was...Most unsatisfying - sort of like new actors showing up as stars in the last episode of a mini-series.

Waitlist Donor Bank (Rerun)

I, the Neurotic Parent, am so relaxed after a snorkeling trip on a barrier reef that I cannot think of an appropriate college angst blog post.  (There was a high school senior on the boat who is deciding between Virgina Tech and Georgia Tech, but there's not enough of a story there.)

So, until I come up with new material, which will definitely happen when I return home and hear all the RD admissions stories, here is a rerun of a popular waitlist-related post from last May.

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Recently, the Neurotic Parent received the following comments from readers:

I have a niece who got into Middlebury off the waitlist and gave up her slot at Hamilton and her brother got into Emerson off the waitlist, which opens up a slot at Northeastern.  How long do you think it will be before you know who got their spots?

and

It was actually our Oberlin-bound DGC (Dylan-Ginsberg Clone) who happily gave up his Vassar space for the Santa Barbara girl.

These comments reflect a new trend that is unfolding for students who are admitted to their dream colleges from waitlists.  Mere acceptance was once cause enough for celebration.  But now many waitlist recipients feel a need to know the identity of the anonymous donors who made it possible for them to enroll at their reach schools.

With this in mind, the Neurotic Parent Institute has started a new foundation, Waitlist Donor Trace.  Using cutting-edge research methods, we will locate the girl or boy who gave your child the gift of matriculation.  And for a nominal fee, you can receive periodic updates about how your donor is faring at the better school that let him or her in at the last moment. 

We are also starting a Waitlist Donor Bank.  Top students can now be proactive in giving a lucky girl or boy their hand-me-down acceptances.  

So, if you are someone like Mr. 2400, CJ's friend who just achieved a perfect score on the SAT, here's a simple strategy that could potentially touch the lives of thousands of students all over the world:  Apply to eighteen colleges.  You will probably be accepted at sixteen.  Send in deposits to every college that accepts you.  Then, when you get the call from Harvard or Princeton, you can provide places to sixteen lucky waitlist recipients.  Not only do you get to go to a prestigious school, but you can also help other human beings in limbo, like the Middlebury and Emerson kids mentioned above.  

This act of selflessness will take much less effort than going to Namibia to work with the baboons, and will give you the incomporable satisfaction of having made a difference in the life of an eleventh grader who has had to overcome the misfortune of having been born in 1990 or 1991.

April Fools

You're in.....Oops - just kidding!

Here's a story about how UCSD inadvertently sent an email to all 28,000 rejected students telling them they had been accepted.

http://www.latimes.com/news/la-me-ucsd-reject1-2009apr01,0,3442257.story 

Meanwhile, here I am, blogging from the jungle.  Despite an all-day blackout, CJ managed to find out that one of his best friends was accepted to Stanford...and that other classmates and friends got into Yale, Dartmouth, Williams, Tufts, Penn, Wesleyan and Oberlin. 

But somehow the more caves and Mayan ruins I explore, all of this somehow loses its significance.

What was I Thinking?

The Neurotic Parent has had a serious lapse in judgement. 

Today is March 29th, one of the most important days in the college admissions cycle and we are now in the Miami airport on our way to Belize where we will be living in a treehouse in the jungle with no cell service or electricity.   And then we are moving to a shack on the beach. 

Just in time for:

- Juicy reports from parents of college juniors on their college tours (one directionally-challenged mother and son team is DRIVING from Oberlin to Cornell, and will surely have great stories).  Another pair is traveling in a private plane.

- The results of Ivy Acceptance/Rejection Day - Tuesday, March 31st.  I have a feeling that several of  CJ's friends, including one who was just named a National Merit Scholar, will be getting good news.  And there will be a collective nervous breakdown on College Confidential.

- Families whose kids have multiple acceptances (an embarrassment of riches) will be scrambing to book Southwest flights to Admitted Student Weekends.

- Weird admissions stories.  I already have a doozie to report - waiting for clearance from the mom of the proud new art student.

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So, dear readers, please help me relax and enjoy my time in the jungle by posting comments with your updates.  I will try to check in with a new post or two, but I might have to resort to reruns.

Happy Anniversary to This Blog

A year ago, if somebody had told me that I would become a specialist in college angst AND a well-known internet critic of Ithaca hotels, I wouldn't have believed it.  

But I would have believed that my Cerebral Jock son, who seemed more interested in following the March Madness basketball games than hearing about a capella groups on our eight-state college tour, would still be more interested in basketball than perusing the course catalog at his dream ED school.

In honor of this blog's anniversary, the Neurotic Parent Institute is proud to announce the result of a preliminary research study: This year, in fact, may NOT have been the most difficult year to get into college in the history of the world.

I hereby present preliminary anectodal evidence - some the acceptances received so far by some of CJ's friends, classmates and teammates who have been mentioned in this blog (Briliant Surfer, Compulsive Texter, Computer Genius...plus others whom I have not mentioned):

Columbia (early decision); Yale (early action); Stanford (early action); Duke (early decision), Wash U St. Louis; Rice (almost full ride); Michigan; UCSB (volleyball); Dartmouth (crew); Penn (early decision); Middlebury (early decision); Swarthmore (tennis); Wisconsin; Kenyon ($$); Lewis & Clark; Carleton; USC (film); USC (music); NYU (theater): NYU (film); Syracuse (business); Indiana; UCLA; Wesleyan (early decision and "early write"); UCLA; UCSD; UCSC; Colorado College; U of Colorado; Bucknell ($$); Tulane ($$); Emerson (acting); Barnard; Sarah Lawrence; MIT (early action).

I have heard that only five members of CJ's class have not yet received any acceptances...And those are top students who will have an embarrassment of riches to select from.  Plus, the above list does not include the decisions of many of the early-adverse Ivies (Inconveniently they are waiting until I'm in the jungle to announce those). 

The bottom line: Why were we so neurotic?  Everybody is getting in somewhere. 

Perhaps it is because we have conveniently experienced an economic meltdown which has helped those willing/able to pay full tuition.

Or perhaps it is because the colleges really want our nice, bright students, even though they have only one summer of genome research.

 

The Tables have Turned: Love Letters from Stanford

The tables have turned.  Those who were admitted to Stanford Early Action, which is not binding, have received personal handwritten notes from their regional admissions reps.   Some of these notes, and kind enticements designed to protect Stanford's yield, were posted by proud admitees on College Confidential:

"I admire your hard work in the classroom, with your community, and your family. I am confident you will continue to excel in the remainder of your senior year and I look forward to seeing the contributions you will make at Stanford. ¡Nos vemos pronto!"

I really enjoyed reading your answers to the supplement, particularly the one about a 'library superhero'. We need more people like you. Good luck!"

"You are a brilliant writer. i loved your piece on creationism and evolution.  I can tell that you are a deep thinker and Stanford will be lucky to have you."

---

Thanks to expert field work, the Neurotic Parent Institute has uncovered another batch of notes, straight from the Stanford Admissions Reps for the New Economy:

"Your essay about how difficult it is to be the only young prince in your Swiss boarding school class was riveting- Exactly the sort of diversity we're looking for at Stanford.

and

"I enjoyed reading the annual report from your grandparents' foundation.  Thank goodness they were not affected by the Madoff situation.  And what a thrill to discover that you are their only grandchild!"

Rumors

Recent Rumors Reported to the Neurotic Parent:

1) An admissions officer from a prestigious LAC called the parents of an applicant to find out whether the family would be paying full tuition if their daughter were accepted.

2) The husband of a world-famous iconic political figure approached a Stanford alum at a dinner party and asked if he could help his daughter get in.

3) UCSB turned down more students from Beverly Hills High than ever before.  (This officially makes UCSB the new UCSD.)

4) Wash U St. Louis waitlisted almost all applicants with 2350+ SAT scores because of Tufts Syndrome (they assume the superstar applicants are just using Wash U as a safety and will not attend, thus lowering their yield and screwing up their US News ranking).  But many of the lucky few who were admitted received vouchers for airline tickets in their acceptance packets.

5) Contrary to media reports that it will be easier to get into private colleges this year, at least three top universities sent out kind letters to guidance counselors letting them know in advance that they sadly will be rejecting many highly-qualified applicants.

6) George Washington University, located five blocks from the suddenly-hip White House, is officially no longer a safety school.  Good luck getting in.

Passages

I vowed I would not turn this into a teary Emptying Nest blog.  But I must mention that last Friday CJ "graduated" from varsity soccer.  As I watched the highlight reel of his team's miraculous winning season (his school has more of a reputation for Animal Rights Activism and Sweat Lodge Rituals than for strong athletics), images of my fourteen years as a soccer mom flashed before me - the drives to Victorville in bumper-to-bumper traffic, the heat, the cold, the mud, the rain, the nervewracking penalty kicks, the emergency visits to the orthopedist.  The nostalgia was overwhelming as the team hugged their coaches goodbye....but then CJ reminded me that he still has a whole club tournament season ahead of him, in fact he has to be in the far reaches of the OC this very Saturday morning at 7 AM.

And with our younger son BH semi-committed to JV soccer, I can probably look forward three more years of forgotten cleats and unfair refs.

Separation Night

Last Thursday our school sponsored an evening for parents of seniors to prepare us for that day next August when we have to drop off our babies.  

Thirty people showed up.  We sat in a circle with three school psychologists and had a council.  I can't tell you anything that was said (would have to kill you), but you can imagine.  There was laughter. There were tears.  And there were funny, poignant stories about when WE went off to college a generation ago, when the world was completely different...or was it?

Until a few moments ago, I was feeling pretty good about the outcome of the evening.  What I gleaned from it was that it will be incredible for CJ and not so bad for me because I had such a positive experience going off to college in the aforementioned world of yesteryear. 

But I just glanced at the first few lines of the handout we were given, and now I'm wondering just how easy this process will be:

"Tonight we are going to talk about what it means to say good-by to a relationship that has sustained you for over seventeen years.  For most of you, this relationship has been the most incredible relationship you have ever experienced..."

I defy you to show me a handout that is more of a tearjerker.

Front Page News

Life is difficult for seniors who don't know where they will be living and learning next year.  But it is even harder for journalists who are dying to write about how ridiculously selective college admissions have become, but don't yet have the statistics.

Here is an overview of sensational college-related stories that have appeared on the front page of major newspapers during the last few weeks:

1. From the LA Times: UC Wants the Truth on Student Applications

This is about how the UC's randomly vet 5-6% of their apps.  If a student says she was the lead in the play, they want proof!  Send in a video of your solo or at least a copy of the program.  And if you can't get your coach to say your were really the captain of the wrestling team, you might as well withdraw your app.

http://www.latimes.com/news/education/la-me-ucfraud18-2009feb18,0,2545627.story

2.  From the NY Times: The Big Test Before College? The Financial Aid Form

This piece states that it is indeed more difficult filling out the FAFSA (standardized financial aid form) than taking the SATs.  There are even prep courses and independent counselors that charge an arm and a leg to help you prove you are aid-worthy.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/22/education/22fafsa.html?partner=rss&emc=rss

3.  From the Boston Globe: Economy lifting college prospects of the well-heeled

For students applying to college, it's a very good year to have strong grades and deep pockets. Especially the latter.

http://www.boston.com/news/education/higher/articles/2009/02/24/economy_lifting_college_prospects_of_the_well_heeled/?page=1

The Neurotic Parent has determined that these articles - and many more, in nearly every major newspaper - have been written to keep college on the mind of readers throughout the country.  Just one month from today, the barrage will begin: true documentation of how this was the most difficult year to get into college in the history of the world.

I want to be, like, academically challenged

Last Thursday was College Night for Juniors at CJ's school  and he was invited to be a member of a student panel for rising seniors.  The intent of the panel was to demystify the college application process and provide sage advice for those about to embark on the journey. 

A few hours before the panel, CJ received an email from his dean listing possible topics of discussion. One was "What I did during the summer between 11th and 12th grade."  Because that summer was a full seven months ago, CJ had trouble remembering, but once he was reminded about his 8-hour a day summer job at a major concert venue, he felt prepared to serve on the panel. 

I asked if I could attend (after all, I always need blog material), but of course, I was the last person he wanted in the audience.

CJ said the evening went well, but I had to rely on parents of juniors for details.   One mom said her son thought the student panel was the highlight of the entire event, even better than essay advice from the University of Chicago admissions representative.  The mom said that panel consisted of kids who had been accepted early to NYU, Vassar, MIT and CJ's school, plus four who were waiting to hear. 

Her son had reported that although the students on the panel provided him with great tips, one panelist had constantly used the word "like."

I immediately assumed that CJ was the culprit because of his eight years at summer camp with valley kids.  How will he survive a freshman seminar at his prestigious college, I worried.  But when I confronted CJ with the news that kids were critiquing his diction, he laughed, then admonished me for jumping to conclusions.  He said that one of the other panelists had said "like" so much that it was, like, out of control. 

That student is waiting to hear about a full scholarship at Berkeley, where they do not require interviews.

Major Opportunity: A Faustian Scholarship

Dear CJ,

Congratulations on your early acceptance into University of XX. Please let me be one of the first to welcome you to the Class of 2013!
 
This is a great achievement and no doubt your family and friends are very proud of you. Your years of hard work and perseverance have paid off.  As you probably already know, XX is an elite institution rankedamong the top 10 universities nationally.  This year XX received 23,750 applications, of which only 457 were accepted as Early Decision.  Those accepted represent the nation’s top scholars and leaders.    

Now that you have been accepted to XX, the next hurdle is paying for your college education.  With tuition, fees, and books the total quickly adds up to a significant amount.  Over the course of four years at University of XX, this total comes out to more than $146,000, not including room and board. 
                                         
I am writing to personally invite you to apply for one of our full tuition scholarships.  Based on your academic success, I believe that you have the potential to earn an Army ROTC scholarship and be one of the elite few who join our ranks each year as freshmen at XX. 
 
Our prestigious scholarship is only offered to the best scholars, athletes and leaders who possess the most potential to excel both academically and militarily.  An Army ROTC scholarship pays 100% of your tuition plus a monthly stipend during the school year that starts at $300 your freshman year and rises to $500 by the time you are a senior.  In addition, an Army ROTC scholarship provides $600 per semester for books.  In all, a four year scholarship is worth approximately $162,000; the leadership experience is priceless.

Army ROTC students are just like every other student on campus, and many are active in fraternities, sororities, student government, and intramural sports.  Upon graduation from XX, students who complete the Army ROTC program are commissioned as Second Lieutenants in the Army.  Scholarship winners typically serve on active duty for four years after they graduate and are commissioned; however, there are other options for those who wish to serve part-time instead.
 
I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate you again on your success and urge you to consider applying for our elite scholarship program.  I would be happy to answer any questions you may have; you can contact me at 1-555-555-5555, or by email .

Major X, (Female) ROTC Officer

University of XX

Yes - CJ really received this email...and not long after a reader asked me to uncover ways to get money to pay for college.  This might be the answer to everyone's tuition nightmares, while at the same time creating an opportunity to remake Private Benjamin for the 21st Century.
 

Spring Break for the New Economy

Mr. Neurotic Parent is concerned because we are about to spend our dwindling life savings on a costly private university, not to mention dozens of cross-country flights, a mini-refrigerator and a bean bag chair from Bed, Bath and Beyond. 

Yes, these are frugal times.  But spring break is coming up, and it might be the last occasion that our two children share the same April vacation dates. 

So Mr. NP consented to an inexpensive getaway, and after weeks on hold with the AAdvantage people, I managed to use mileage to procure four tickets to Belize.  There we will live in a jungle treehouse for 5 nights, then move to a shack on the beach. 

I was feeling proud of my budget vacation skills until I realized that we will be cave tubing in the rainforest without Verizon or Internet during the period when the majority of CJ's classmates (and the anonymous random neurotic students from College Confidential) receive their college acceptances. 

How will I function without my Blackberry? 

How will I live with the suspense? 

Surely there must be somewhere near the Guatemalan border with a proper business center.  Or I just might have to count on my kids' IT skills...They will surely find a way to get the news.

Desperate Cry for Help from a Reader

Dear Neurotic Parent,

I have enjoyed reading your blog for the last year, but it is not as fun for me any more because whenever I read it, all I can think about is how much we're spending for our daughter to study philosophy and Latin, two things she will never use in real life, at ________ (cool, prestigious liberal arts school.) 

 

Help!  Find us a grant or a scholarship.  $15,000 a year will help, but more will be appreciated.  This needs to be your new obsession.  You need to find some crazy loophole for money.  This is so you.  You've got to focus on this one. 

 

Everyone appreciates how funny and entertaining you are, but enough is enough.  I can't believe you haven't found some merit money for CJ yet.  I bet you have, and you're keeping it from us.  Please put your attentions to good use.

 

Your fan,

XXX

 

---

 

Dear XXX,

 

Thanks for your letter.  Just when I was all relaxed about the college process, you have elevated my anxiety to a new level.  I will get right on it.

 

Best regards,

The Neurotic Parent

 

 

 

Universities of Hope & Change

It's been a relatively slow news week for college admissions stories because we have had a change of government.  The Neurotic Parent Institute has researched where our new leaders attended college, law school and graduate school.  (DISCLAIMER: Research was conducted on Wikipedia, but everything seems accurate enough.)

So...Does it matter which school you go to?

Barack Obama - Occidental, Columbia, Harvard Law School

Joe Biden - University of Delaware, Syracuse Law School

Hillary Clinton - Wellesley, Yale Law School

Eric Holder - Columbia, Columbia Law School

Rahm Emanuel (Chief of Staff) - Sarah Lawrence, Northwestern

Tom Daschle (Health & Human Services Secy) - South Dakota State

David Axelrod (Sr. Advisor) - Univ. of Chicago

Valerie Jarrett (Sr. Advisor) - Stanford, Univ. of Michigan Law School

Susan Rice (UN Ambassador) - Stanford, Oxford

Robert Gibbs (Press Secy) - North Carolina State

Janet Napolitano (Homeland Security) - Santa Clara University, Univ. of Virginia

Desiree Rogers (White House Social Secy) - Wellesley, Harvard

Gregory Craig (White House Counsel) - Harvard, Cambridge, Yale Law School

Timothy Geithner (Treasury Secy-Designate) - Dartmouth, Johns Hopkins

Ken Salazar (Secy of Interior) - Colorado College, University of Michigan Law School

Steven Chu (Secy of Energy) - Univ. of Rochester, UC Berkeley

Eric Shinseki (Secy of Veteran Affairs) - U.S. Military Academy, Duke

Hilda Solis (Secy of Labor) - Cal Poly, Pomona, USC

Lawrence Summers (Natl. Economic Council Director) - MIT, Harvard

Reggie Love (Personal Aide to the President) - Duke

And, newly updated:

Jon Favreau (Speechwriting Director) - College of the Holy Cross  (Thanks to a reader for correcting me on this - I originally mixed him up with the actor/director, who went to Queens College in NY.  And how bizarre is it that there are two almost-famous people named Jon Favreau?)

Neurotic Parent College Planning

The Neurotic Parent Institute has inadvertantly started a one-stop college planning service.  We are officially into the "lull period", during which high school seniors wait to find out who will accept them - or change their deferred status.  But things are not slow here - Within the last few weeks I have received desperate phone calls from friends and acquaintances who believe that because CJ was accepted early to his dream school, I have to power to come up with plans and solutions for their seniors and juniors.

Here are some of the services I have dutifully performed:

- Critiqued an essay on December 30th (1 day before deadline)

- Planned a junior's college trip to "jocky" schools using Delta miles.

- Presented a brief comparison all of the SAT tutors in SoCal.

- Analyzed emails from UC Berkeley about scholarships to determine if they were sent out to everyone, or just a select few.

- Evaluated summer programs to decide whether they would be viewed as "bogus" by college reps; came up with suggested spin of how to position bogus program on student's resume.

- Convinced dozens of people to add Emory to their students' lists after CJ received a live call from a real person on his cell from Emory on December 30th begging him to apply. 

- Theorized why highly-qualified students were deferred from Wesleyan, Yale and Williams; created strategies and marketing plans to get these kids accepted.

- Agreed to lend my embarrassingly-large library of Michele Hernandez books to the mom of CJ's brilliant and talented goalie friend.

- Extolled the virtues of my two new favorite off-the-radar schools, based on their fabulous mailings: Rice and Kenyon.  Okay, they are both in sucky locations, but you can't have everything.

The best part of the Neurotic Parent college planning services is that although they may not be accurate or fruitful, at least they are free.  Just catch me at a soccer game and ask me about "Tufts Syndrome."

Indigestion = Rejection: Was it the Buffalo Wings?

Rather than get on with my life, I am still pondering why CJ's ED university, a highly-selective elite institution, accepted him over thousands of other equally-qualified applicants.

I may now have the answer: The admissions representative probably enjoyed a delicious meal in our city without suffering gastrointestinal consequences.

Take a look at this post from the Daily Beast.  A college admissions officer, discussing the random and arbitrary nature of the process, admits that she rejected all applicants from Buffalo after she came down with food poisoning there. 

http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-01-09/dirty-secrets-of-college-admissions/full/

World of Wonder Honors Society

CC THREAD OF THE DAY: Can Video Games be Listed as an Extracurricular on College Apps?

http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-admissions/628881-video-games-college-application.html

This is a very exciting possibilty for the Neurotic Parent.  My own kids are not gamers (they are too busy managing their fantasy sports teams), but I, the Neurotic Parent, have many hours of useless electronics under my belt:

- the Pin Ball Queen in undergraduate school

- a Pong star after graduation

- an accomplished Ms. Pac Man player in between my two marriages, and

- a level-9 high-scoring Tetris aficianado - in fact, I still play Tetris on long flights

- an international Word Twist participant (although I can't compete with anyone under 20)

Can I put these accomplishments on my own resumé?

CC Anonymous

Just because my son was lucky enough to have gained early acceptance to his dream school, it doesn't mean I have to stop being a neurotic parent.  Of course I can worry about our younger son, BH.  He did pick up a new award over the vacation (1st Place, Team Penning - cooperative cattle-rustling skills, not something you see on every college resume).  That award could conteract the B+ he expects in English. 

But now it's my job to find something else to feed my stress level...a nasty addiction perhaps?

Yes, it's true.  Much as I try, I cannot survive without a daily fix of the most annoying website on the web, College Confidential.  Now that CJ is on the other side of SATs, SAT IIs, and EC building, you would think I would stop caring about kids who spend their Saturday nights chatting with strangers about whether their 2380, TASC selection and NMF status will qualify them for BME at MIT. 

But I just can't seem to stay away from the bizarre combination of parental smugness and adolescent low self esteem at www.collegeconfidential.com. 

So in an attempt to justify my obsessive CC visits, for the next week I will publish links to CC's most entertaining threads.

CC THREAD OF THE DAY #1: CLAM FARTING

As a joke, a student wrote on his common app that his primary extracurricular activity was "Clam Farting".  And, if you can believe him, he was still accepted to Yale.

http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/what-my-chances/470497-clam-fart-oh-my-god-what-did-i-do.html

CC Anonymous

Just because my son was lucky enough to have gained early acceptance to his dream school, it doesn't mean I have to stop being a neurotic parent.  There is always our younger son, BH, to worry about.  He did pick up a new award over the vacation (1st Place, Team Penning - cooperative cattle-rustling skills, not something you see on every college resume).  That award could serve to conteract the B+ he expects in English. 

But now it's my job to find something else to stress about...a nasty addiction perhaps?

Yes, it's true.  Much as I try, I cannot survive without a daily fix of the most annoying website on the web, College Confidential.  Now that CJ is on the other side of SATs, SAT IIs, and EC building, you would think I would stop caring about kids who spend their Saturday nights discussing whether their 2380, TASC selection and NMF status will qualify them for BME at MIT. 

But I just can't seem to stay away from the bizarre combination of parental smugness and juvenile low self esteem at www.collegeconfidential.com. 

So in an attempt to justify my obsessive CC visits, for the next week I will publish links to CC's most entertaining threads.

CC THREAD OF THE DAY #1: CLAM FARTING

As a joke, a student wrote on his common app that his primary extracurricular activity was "Clam Farting".  And, if you can believe him, he was still accepted to Yale.

http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/what-my-chances/470497-clam-fart-oh-my-god-what-did-i-do.html

An Error Has Ocurred

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/01/education/01apply.html?_r=2&ref=education

Appy New Year

May 2009 be full of multiple acceptances, merit scholarships and personable roommates.

Topics to Avoid

Don't want the admissions people to find out that an adult helped you on your college essay? Here are topics, words and punctutation symbols to avoid:

- Acid Reflux

- Ponzi schemes

- Backslashes/forward slashes

- Chemical peels

- Farmers Markets

- Back trouble

- Pilates

- How your contractor ripped you off on your outdoor firepit

- The words  "aforementioned" and "notwithstanding"; in fact, I would think twice about any compound word other than "snowman".

Good luck - you still have over 72 hours.  A friend of CJ's reports that he has been holed up for four days in a hotel room in a ski resort trying to finish his apps.  Good luck to him and all the aforementioned.

Heretofore

You would think that the Wall Street Journal has enough to report about these days, but the editors there remain obsessed with the college admissions process.  The latest piece on the subject tells you what not to do: don't send excessive thank you emails to the everyone your met on your tour, and don't sound robotic in your essay - let your own voice shine through.

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=wsj+college+app+be+yourself&aq=f&oq=

Here's how not to sound robotic:

- If your parents are lawyers, don't let them edit your essay.  They might use too many semi-colons or words like "heretofore".

- Don't write about your experience living abroad, even if it was life changing.  Instead write about changing a tire in the snow in Minnesota or growing up as the only boy in a family of eight.

- Don't have your mom sign your app by mistake.

Those are the main points, but the Neurotic Parent Institute has done some additional research and has a few more pointers.

Unfortunately we are experiencing internet connectivity issues on a ranch in Arizona (during a flash flood, with 38 degree temperatures), and you will have to wait until tomorrow for the valuable last-minute essay advice.  That will still give you four whole days to finish your apps, so no worries.

Nuestra Señora de la Decisión Temprana

Why did CJ get into his Early Decision dream school?  Was it his Math SAT score?  His leadership experience?  His 10th grade scholar-athlete award? 

In fact, it was probably none of the above - It was most likely a divine intervention.  Here is the story:

Just before Thanksgiving a friend from graduate school, BL (Brilliant Linguist), stayed with us for several days while he was lecturing at UCLA.  BL lives in Darwin, Australia and is considered the world's foremost authority on aboriginal languages.  While here BL transferred some data to my computer so he could print out a fascinating doctrine about Indigenous knowledge, digital technologies, and remote community capacity.  

The next day BL emailed me from LAX to tell me that he had left his flash drive in my computer.  I asked if he wanted me to FedEx it to him, and he answered that snail mail was okay.  He had another copy of the file, but he did need the keychain that was attached to it.  The keychain, with an image of Mother Mary on one side and Jesús on the other, is a souvenir from the Sanctuario del Milagroso de Buga, Colombia.  It is also clearly a powerful good luck object, even for those of us who are as un-Catholic as they come.

Here is our email exchange:

In a message dated 11/26/2008 10:40:41 A.M. Pacific Standard Time, Brilliant Linguist writes:

Did I leave my NS plugged into your computer?

Sent: Friday, 27 November 2008 5:12 PM
To: Brilliant Linguist
Subject: Re: Nuestra senora

Yes - I just found your NS - uh oh!  Do you need it?

In a message dated 11/26/2008 2:32:34 P.M. Pacific Standard Time, Brilliant Linguist writes:

Don't really need my NS urgently - I think I have everything covered - but am psycho-emotionally attached to it so if you send it by snail mail I'd be grateful.

Sent: Thursday, 27 November 2008 9:06 AM
To: Brilliant Linguist
Subject: Re: Nuestra senora

Maybe I should hold onto NS until CJ is supposed to hear from X University (12/15), then send it to you for Xmas.  How does that sound?

In a message dated 12/18/2008 4:52:46 P.M. Pacific Standard Time, Brilliant Linguist writes:

Okay, how did NS do with her intercessions on behalf of CJ?  Did he make it to X University? Sorry you missed our party – it poured with monsoonal rain and has continued to do so all week – in fact there’s a cyclone warning out.  Hope you have happy hols.  Pls forward NS to me soon as she is of no further use to you.

Sent: Friday, 18 December 2008 5:12 PM
To: Brilliant Linguist
Subject: Re: Nuestra senora

It worked!!!  He got into X University...A true miracle.  He's over the moon.

Will send her back to you to prevent you from being swept away by the cyclone, but will have to borrow her when we start the college process again.

In a message dated 12/18/2008 7:22:08 P.M. Pacific Standard Time, Brilliant Linguist writes:

Wow congrats to CJ (and to NS)

Meanwhile the cyclone is about to hit.

More if we survive.

Sent: Friday, 19 December 2008 10:45 AM
To: Brilliant Linguist
Subject: Re: Nuestra senora 

Whoa - that's really scary.   I hope this wasn't my fault for hanging onto NS.

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So...it seems as if CJ's college acceptance success can be traced to a spiritual turn of events that eventually caused a storm of biblical proportions.  I have sent NS by DHL back to BL, but the Neurotic Parent Institute is still unsure if she arrived in time to prevent major devastation to his city.

 

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601101&sid=ahxTBRuMgxO0&refer=japan

 

 

Stay tuned for Australian cyclone updates.

 

Admissions Envy and Common App Remorse

In the wake of early decision and early action results, the phone lines are buzzing.  Parents all over the country are trying to unravel the mystery of why certain kids got in to certain schools and others were left by the wayside.

The most common discussions:

- Figuring out why 11 students from a certain prestigious school in this neighborhood were all rejected or deferred from Stanford.  And why a legacy kid/inventor was deferred from Yale when he didn't just do model UN; he gave a speech at the real UN.

- Dissecting why some apps were successful and others weren't.  An essay was about Katrina aid = REJECTED!  An essay about gathering up the nerve to sky dive = DEFERRED!  An essay with clever musings about getting lost in Boston = ACCEPTED!  We will never know why, but we can theorize forever.

- Agonizing about mistakes on one's already-submitted Common App.  Once you click, you cannot fix typos, omitted ECs or add a Junior Statesman award.  The Common App asks for a list of extracurriculars which you must rate them in order of importance to you.  Should your son have said that working in the aquarium meant more to him than playing baseball on a traveling team?  Should your daughter have mentioned the archery award she received in eighth grade?  Once you click you can never go back.

- Rehashing the mantra that the deans and guidance counselors and parents of older kids repeat over and over again: They all end up where they're supposed to.  They all end up where they're supposed to.  Fine...But does that apply to the Most Difficult Year for College Admissions in the History of the World?  And what about the six graduates from our school who are thinking of transferring or "taking a year off" to become organic farmers?

Referrals, though cruel because they prolong the uncertainty, can be rationalized.  But there are no easy answers for why some of the most stellar applicants were rejected.  The Neurotic Parent Institute is setting up a College Admissions Investigative unit and will report back soon.

 

Yale or No Yale - Results

A few weeks ago I posted the stats of three kids we know who applied Early Action to Yale.  Some details were disguised (i.e. Varsity Cross Country could be Varsity Tennis; Varsity Baseball could be Varsity Basketball; a double legacy could actually be a multi-generational legacy), but basically the thumbnail descriptions were accurate.

Today at 6 PM EST the decisions were released.  Thousands of off-the-charts kids were deferred or rejected, mirroring the experience of others who received decisions from Stanford on Saturday.  (Disappointed/irate College Confidential posters called these results "The Stanford Slaughter" and the "Bulldog Bloodbath".) 

So how did the Neurotic Parents' friends do?  Yale or No Yale?  Scroll down for the results in CAPS and exclamation points (because all the emails about kids' admissions seem to include both of the above).

Student A:

Caucasion male.  Attends top public school in a mid-Atlantic state.  Ranked #1 in his school.  2380 SAT, no prep, one sitting.  Captain, Varsity Cross Country.  Won a language prize and scholarship to spend a semester abroad as an exchange student.  Selected to do research in prestigous summer program - his evaluator said the student has the one of the greatest scientific minds he has ever encountered.

RESULT: ACCEPTED!!!

Student B:

Caucasion male.  Attends top private school in a western state.  2380 SAT, no prep, one sitting.  4.0 unweighed.  School president.  Varsity Baseball.  Star of every school play - Performed at European arts festival.  Winner of national competitions for two musical instruments. 

RESULT: ACCEPTED!!!

Student C:

Caucasion male.  Double legacy.  Attends small private school in a western state.  Three-sport athelete.  2310 SAT, superscore.  A bona fide genius - 4.0 unweighted without studying.  Started his own internet business - has many customers in Asia.

RESULT: DEFERRED!!!

Coming in March: the Regular Decision Edition of "Yale or No Yale"

ED Etiquette

Q: My son/daughter was accepted early at his/her dream school.  Should I tell my friends, whose kids might have been deferred or rejected?

A: No.  Wait for them to find out through the grapevine, which takes about 5 minutes these days.  But do tell all your relatives, and expect them to ask why you would commit to paying $50,000 tuition a year before hearing from Berkeley.

Q: Theoretically, if you have a satirical blog about the college admissions process and your son or daughter gets accepted early to his absolute dream school, how do you continue to come up with material for the blog?

A: Consider writing about premature separation issues, how to pay for college in this economy, other kids' admissions dramas or senioritis.

Q: Theoretically, if you have a satirical blog about the college admissions process and your son or daughter gets accepted early to his absolute dream school, should you reveal the name of that school to your readers?

A: No.  But you should give your readers subtle hints (such as "Southwest flies there" or "they have seven a capella groups") so they will continue to follow your blog.

Embarrassment of Riches

Shopping List for Lucky ED Applicant:

- 2 T-shirts

- 1 Sweatshirt

- 1 Mug

- 2 car decals

Stay tuned for details on how all this came to pass.

List Your Awards

I, the Neurotic Parent, have been tracking (obsessed with) our older son CJ (Cerebral Jock's) college admissions process since last March.  But that does not mean I have forgotten that I have a younger son, a ninth-grader, whom I will now refer to as BH - Brown or Berkeley Hopeful (depending on what happens with the economy) - formerly known on this blog as Brown'16).

Even though I have neglected BH for the last nine months, he has remained focused on his extracurriculars, and last week came home with his first high-school-level award, which we will save in a folder and report on his college apps in just three short years. 

The Award? The Triple King Challenge:

Here is what the certificate says:

CONGRATULATIONS ON CONQUERING THE TRIPLE KING CHALLENGE

(We deem you King of all Carnivores)

Awarded to:BH

At the: Brentwood Fatburger Restaurant

Witnessed by: Humberto

Date: 11/18/2008

Yes, my son, completely on his own, with odds stacked against him at 5'7" and under 115 pounds, managed to consume an entire Fatburger triple cheeseburger at one sitting.  Okay, he did leave off the pickles and onions, but it's a start - He has a head start on this significant EC....and I wouldn't be surprised if there's a Quadruple King Challenge in his future.

Hackers and Slackers II - Stanford Edition

Prospective Columbia early decision applicants are not the only ones who are impatient about their decisions.  Students waiting to hear from Stanford are anxious as well...and one thinks he (or she, but I'm assuming he's male) might have figured out a way to find out his fate several days in advance. 

On the angst-ridden website College Confidential, obsessed Stanford early action hopefuls have theorized that if their Admissions ID # gets them access to a welcome page on the regular Stanford Students' site, it is very likely they have been accepted. 

skscherTX New Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 24

Possible way to check admission status I thought of an interesting way to check if you are accepted. All of us SCEAers received an email confirming that our applications had been received. This email contains your Stanford ID. Now, try making an account on SUnet (axess) https://sunetid.stanford.edu/main/SUNetIdApp/CreateApp If you successfully make an account, you have been admitted, if not, perhaps rejection. It didn't work for me, so I have likely been rejected. Tell me if this works for anyone.

The thread that follows (http://tinyurl.com/5qe5ys) is a collective panic attack - The method works for some applicants, but not for others.  Those who do have success are now worried that their admission will get rescinded.  Others think their #s work because they took a summer program at Stanford and still have access.  Can't wait to see if skscherTX's method was reliable - If so, maybe he can also come up with a method to change his decision if deferred. 

Hackers and Slackers

Columbia University sent out an email a few hours ago informing its ED candidates that they will be receiving an admissions decision by both email and snail mail on Thursday, rather than next Monday as promised. 

Several students on the College Confidential website, the chat board for future CEOs (if accepted to the Ivy's) and serial killers (if forced to attend their State Us), have figured out how to find out the decision a few days early. 

By email: Change the calendar on your computer; trick it into thinking that it's Friday.

By snail mail: Call FedEx.  Find out if Columbia has sent you a package (if they haven't, they probably sent a regular letter, which means you were denied or deferred).

The Neurotic Parent Institute believes that the student who figured out how to trick his or her computer into delivering an email on an earlier date deserves to be admitted to Columbia. The student who came up with the much simpler plan of calling FedEx already knows how to work the system and does not need to go to college. 

http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/columbia-university/611796-find-out-if-you-accepted-right-now-instructions-inside.html

Four Seasons U

When our kids go off to college, we will no longer be there to spoil them every day.  So, at least in the case of the private schools, it is up to the colleges to take over the pampering.  On many of the tours, CJ saw a standard of living he has not experienced before, not even on the rarified Westside of Los Angeles

- Amazing gyms and workout rooms with new, fancy equipment - the kind you would pay hundreds of dollars a month to belong to here in LA

- International food courts, with salad bars, sushi chefs, fresh-baked pizza, vegan entrees and other exotic fare, often available 24/7.  And, if you can't find something to your liking, your meal plan card can be used in town at dozens of restaurants.

- Opportunities to join hundreds of clubs.  Want to create your own?  No problem, even if you need funding for editing rooms or sailboats or polo sticks.

- Free laptops (Yes, this was an enticement at many schools.)

- Dorms that look like hotel suites, with fireplaces, pool tables and "business centers" stocked wtih brand new printers and scanners.

- 18 hole golf courses, Olympic size swimming pools, art museums, sculpture gardens, plush screening rooms, complementary airport shuttles and free lecture series with fascinating speakers. 

- Opportunities to travel to Barcelona or Capetown or Buenos Aires or Sydney, and other places we would never think of visiting ourselves in today's economy.

So the good news is that if your student is headed to a private school, he or she will enjoy a luxury lifestyle, much like what you get when on vacation. 

Who pays for all this?  Today's WSJ has the answer: Surprise...it's US - the very same stressed-out parents who are cutting back on weekends away in Santa Barbara so we can afford a decent education for our children.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122844276224181879.html

For the students, the only downside to all this luxury is that they actually have to learn something.  If not we might get mad and make them go to community college or pay for their own health club membership.

And, they will have to come to grips with the reality that there will come a day when it all ends, when no longer will somebody pay $50,000 a year for them to play Ultimate Frisbee, take a heli-skiing course or spend six months looking at art in Florence.

 

Common Facts, Myths and Urban Legends

Q: Is it true that the server for the UC App will be frozen all evening on November 30th, right before the applications must be submitted?

A: The Neurotic Parent has just checked, and it's working fine.  Go for it, super procrastinators: You still have three hours and fifty-five minutes.

-

Q: We have heard that it will be easier to get into private colleges and universities this year because of the economic crisis.  Can you confirm?

A: Weirdly, despite the financial meltdown, early decision and early action apps are up 25% across the board.  So if you don't need financial aid, and you thought that would give you a leg up, no dice.  Especially if you're applying to Wesleyan, where ED apps are up by 40%.

-

Q: Is it true that only 2% of the population are employed in the field in which they earned their undergraduate degree?

A: The Neurotic Parent thinks 2% is a high estimate. 

-

Q: Is it true that if all you're concerned about is future success and happiness, it doesn't matter which college you child attends?

A:  Yes.  But then you'd have to find something else to be anxious about.

Thanksgiving Message to High School Seniors and Their Parents

If your greatest source of stress is that darn college admissions process, be thankful.