The Most Difficult Year to Get into College in the History of the World

Common Facts, Myths and Urban Legends

Q: Is it true that the server for the UC App will be frozen all evening on November 30th, right before the applications must be submitted?

A: The Neurotic Parent has just checked, and it's working fine.  Go for it, super procrastinators: You still have three hours and fifty-five minutes.

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Q: We have heard that it will be easier to get into private colleges and universities this year because of the economic crisis.  Can you confirm?

A: Weirdly, despite the financial meltdown, early decision and early action apps are up 25% across the board.  So if you don't need financial aid, and you thought that would give you a leg up, no dice.  Especially if you're applying to Wesleyan, where ED apps are up by 40%.

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Q: Is it true that only 2% of the population are employed in the field in which they earned their undergraduate degree?

A: The Neurotic Parent thinks 2% is a high estimate. 

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Q: Is it true that if all you're concerned about is future success and happiness, it doesn't matter which college you child attends?

A:  Yes.  But then you'd have to find something else to be anxious about.

Thanksgiving Message to High School Seniors and Their Parents

If your greatest source of stress is that darn college admissions process, be thankful.

Scholarships for Descendants of the Almost Famous

CJ asked me to proofread his UC app yesterday - what holiday fun!  Even though he has already been accepted to a school he loves, he has to apply to our state schools in case we lose all of our savings before September.

The UC's don't require teacher or counselor recs, or even a high school transcript until you get accepted.  Instead they expect the prospective students to enter a LOT of info - all their courses, all their grades, all their scores, two "personal statements" (aka essays), and many affidavits that prove you reside in the Golden State. 

A mom whose son is now at NYU told me she filled out the UC app for her son last year because he refused to, and she just wanted to see if he could get into Berkeley and UCLA.  She said it took five hours, not including forcing him to write two essays.

The app is somewhat user-friendly - it even "talks", giving you helpful hints if you get stuck - but considering it was probably produced by top engineering students, it's a technological nightmare.  It repeatedly times out and duplicate windows keep popping up, so if you change something you never know whether it has saved or not.   

CJ's application was in pretty good shape, but he had neglected to fill in the most important section: Scholarship Eligibilty.

Below are some of the grants listed on the app.  Can these be for real?  It doesn't matter.  Even if they don't pay for your kid to go to college, they're so wacky that at least they provide a diversion for harried parents who have to spend the night before Thanksgiving proofreading, when they really should be roasting brussels sprouts.

A partial list:

- Descendant of Confederate veteran of the Civil War

- Jewish orphan interested in studying aeronautics

- Descendant of Mayflower passenger

- Descendant of Alice Mara Tibbits, Elede Prince Morris or Rose Humann Rogers (and lots of other random names like these - Can someone explain to me how these work?  Do you know in advance that your Great Uncle Bernie started a scholarship, or are you pleasantly surprised to find one on the app?)

- Child or spouse of a member of the California League of Food Processors

- Chumash player on the Yuba City High School basketball team

Unfortunately CJ does not qualify for any of the scholarships listed above.  In fact he is probably the least likely kid in the state to be related to a Confederate soldier, a Mayflower passenger or a Cuisinart. But the Neurotic Parent Institute has heard that the UCs will be soon be offering the following awards to eligible students:

- New driver who was unfairly ticketed for rolling through a stop sign.

- Student whose hamster perished after a fall down the stairs.

- Facebook member with more than 1200 friends.

- Child of an early-model Prius owner.

- Descendant of someone who believed "Paul was dead" and played Beatles albums backwards for their friends.

- Child of a first-generation female blogger.

For more eclectic scholarships, log onto the UC app website before the server gets clogged.  And keep checking back - As the economic crisis worsens, we will keep you updated as new opportunities arise.

The Matthew Weinblatt Factor

Every day our postman brings CJ five or six pieces of college-related mail, most of which comes from Washington University in St. Louis. 

[As discusssed in a previous post, WashUStL felt compelled to add the "in St. Louis" to its name, so people wouldn't confuse the top-rated mid-sized private school with the University of Washington (in Seattle) or the George Washington Univeristy (in D.C.) or countless other universities that have "Washington" somewhere in their name.]

Why does a school as prestigious and selective as WashUStL feel the need to bombard prospective freshmen with an endless stream of viewbooks, catalogs, pre-apps and invitations to information sessions? 

Many people believe that if it had a less confusing name it would not have to spend huge amounts on marketing.  But, in fact, WashUStL's p.r. problems have nothing to do with its silly moniker - Instead they are the result of one disgruntled student, now a junior, named Matthew Weinblatt (okay, that isn't his real name, but read on, and you'll see why I have to protect his identity.)

Matthew is a young man from a large west coast metropolis.  His story dates back to almost four years ago when he applied to Penn and was waitlisted.  He was pleased to get into WashU, but when he arrived there, he still had not gotten over Penn, and he abruptly decided that all the other students had lousy taste in music.  He came home for his first Thanksgiving and definitively shared his observation with everyone: The academics at WashUStL were fine but the entire student body had terrible playlists in their I-Pods. 

Thanks to Facebook and other social networks, this news spread quickly.  Soon high school students all over the country - like my son - refused to even read the WashU catalogs, let alone apply there.  The school was forced to embark on an expensive ad campaign, but because none of their brochures mentioned I-Pod selections, it will take them years to get back on track.

So if your child needs to add a great school to his or her list, WashU is the one.  Matthew Weinblatt isn't even there this year (he's abroad in a country known for its cutting-edge music), but his legacy lives on.  According to a recent NPI study, seventy percent of students in blue states still acknowledge that the Matthew Weinblatt Factor will keep them from applying to WashU  because attendance there could endanger the quality of their I-Pod selections...Urge yours to apply now before Matthew Weinblatt returns and changes his mind.

Snowfall and Windfall

1.  Had conversations with three parents of happy freshmen who have chosen colleges in chilly, northern locations.  All mentioned that their daughters and sons had experienced their "first snowfall." (I assume they meant their first snowfall at college.)  Ah, the wonders of a November snow.  Let's see how they feel about it in March.

2.  One of the above astute parents accepted my challenge and found a typo in this blog - a misspelling of the word "restaurateur."  She receives a big shout-out. 

3. And now, the windfall: CJ's off-the-radar school with the "personal app" sent a formal acceptance, which arrived yesterday.  Informed him that he has been awarded a Presidential Scholarship, worth more than he could probably save after ten years in the work force.  Was he flattered? Yes.  Does he want to consider this school? No.  Will we gently coerce him to consider the offer? If possible, especially because then we get to gain a new perspective on the college visit - an Acccepted Student Weekend at the Honors College, when suddenly the buyer and seller roles have been reversed.

Hope and Change

On November 13th, twelve hours after finding out about his first acceptance, CJ checked his application status for the very first university we had visited (pre-blog), a school that he had fallen in love with instantly.

There, on the screen was a new link "View Decision":

CONGRATULATIONS—You’re IN! 

 

The brief acceptance message included a link to a welcome video, with stately halls of learning, charismatic professors and a diverse group of smart-looking students frolicking together in the autumn splendor.
 

So, it's only November and we are pinching ourselves: Can this be real?  Can our lucky senior be "done" before most of his apps are even filled out?  No need for safeties any more - Should he just throw together a few essays for some reaches and call it a day? 

 

And what do I panic about now?  It's a good thing that the economy sucks, because between this and the election, I barely qualify for Neurotic Parent status anymore. I guess I can spend the next seven months finding things wrong with the institution that wants my son, but it's all unchartered territory from here.

 

But fear not, dear book publishers.  Within a day or so, the angst is bound to creep in, because now I must face the reality that my baby is actually leaving home.  On my honor, I will do my best to find conflict and chaos in the remaining steps of the Process and keep up the anxiety level of this blog.

Somebody Wants Him

As if the world hadn't changed enough in the course of the last fortnight, CJ has received two life-changing emails yesterday.  The first is from a college that was not on his radar, but had made him an offer too good to refuse: a short no-fee "personal app", a four-week turnaround for a non-binding decision, and automatic consideration for a scholarship.

Congratulations! You have been admitted, and we welcome you to the XX University family.
You will soon receive a formal admission letter and invitations to special programs for admitted students  

Then, twelve hours later, another email arrived. 

 

More about that tomorrow. 

 

 

 

 

Yale or No Yale

Here are the stats of three superhuman kids we know who are applying Early Action to Yale University. 

Student A:

Caucasion male.  Attends top public school in a mid-Atlantic state.  Ranked #1 in his school.  2380 SAT, no prep, one sitting.  Captain, Varsity Cross Country.  Won a language prize and scholarship to spend a semester abroad as an exchange student.  Selected to do research in prestigous summer program - his evaluator said he has the one of the greatest scientific minds he has ever encountered.

Student B:

Caucasion male.  Attends top private school in a western state.  2380 SAT, no prep, one sitting.  4.0 unweighed.  School president.  Varsity Baseball.  Star of every school play - Performed at European arts festival.  Winner of national competitions for two musical instruments. 

Student C:

Caucasion male.  Double legacy.  Attends small private school in a western state.  Three-sport athelete.  2310 SAT, superscore.  A bona fide genius - 4.0 unweighted without studying.  Started his own internet business - has many customers in Asia.

Who gets in? Student A?  Student B? Student C? Neither? All?  You predict.

Xanax, Please

Crunch time.  Unfortunately, I cannot give an accurate report about anything that is going on because at this point, everything about the app process has to remain top secret.  I will be attending a meeting tomorrow with dozens of other neurotic parents and three reassuring guidance counselors, but unfortunately, I will only be able to discuss on the pastry selection.

Meanwhile, while I ponder whether I need to change this to a recipe-sharing blog, if you're the parent of a senior, here is a list of people NOT to talk to between November 1st - March 29th:

- Parents of kids who went to college 3 years ago, when everything was different.

- Parents of Intel Award winners, Oboe Soloists and any sort of National Semi-finalist, especially if their kids are applying to the same schools as your child.

- Parents of recruited athletes, whose kids have already decided between three Ivies.

- Parents of relaxed, grounded kids who are only applying to two public schools - a match and a safety, and would be thrilled to go to either.

- Parents who say that "they all end up in the right place", and go on to tell you how much they themselves hated Princeton.

and, finally:

- English teachers who believe your child should not have used any forms of the verb "to be" in his/her essays.

All Grown Up

CJ voted today, proudly and enthusiastically.  Neighbors who have known him since he was three saw him in line and marvelled at the milestone. 

It's happening and it's hitting me: If he doesn't get into college, he is now old enough to go to war.