The Most Difficult Year to Get into College in the History of the World

Appy New Year

May 2009 be full of multiple acceptances, merit scholarships and personable roommates.

Topics to Avoid

Don't want the admissions people to find out that an adult helped you on your college essay? Here are topics, words and punctutation symbols to avoid:

- Acid Reflux

- Ponzi schemes

- Backslashes/forward slashes

- Chemical peels

- Farmers Markets

- Back trouble

- Pilates

- How your contractor ripped you off on your outdoor firepit

- The words  "aforementioned" and "notwithstanding"; in fact, I would think twice about any compound word other than "snowman".

Good luck - you still have over 72 hours.  A friend of CJ's reports that he has been holed up for four days in a hotel room in a ski resort trying to finish his apps.  Good luck to him and all the aforementioned.

Heretofore

You would think that the Wall Street Journal has enough to report about these days, but the editors there remain obsessed with the college admissions process.  The latest piece on the subject tells you what not to do: don't send excessive thank you emails to the everyone your met on your tour, and don't sound robotic in your essay - let your own voice shine through.

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=wsj+college+app+be+yourself&aq=f&oq=

Here's how not to sound robotic:

- If your parents are lawyers, don't let them edit your essay.  They might use too many semi-colons or words like "heretofore".

- Don't write about your experience living abroad, even if it was life changing.  Instead write about changing a tire in the snow in Minnesota or growing up as the only boy in a family of eight.

- Don't have your mom sign your app by mistake.

Those are the main points, but the Neurotic Parent Institute has done some additional research and has a few more pointers.

Unfortunately we are experiencing internet connectivity issues on a ranch in Arizona (during a flash flood, with 38 degree temperatures), and you will have to wait until tomorrow for the valuable last-minute essay advice.  That will still give you four whole days to finish your apps, so no worries.

Nuestra Señora de la Decisión Temprana

Why did CJ get into his Early Decision dream school?  Was it his Math SAT score?  His leadership experience?  His 10th grade scholar-athlete award? 

In fact, it was probably none of the above - It was most likely a divine intervention.  Here is the story:

Just before Thanksgiving a friend from graduate school, BL (Brilliant Linguist), stayed with us for several days while he was lecturing at UCLA.  BL lives in Darwin, Australia and is considered the world's foremost authority on aboriginal languages.  While here BL transferred some data to my computer so he could print out a fascinating doctrine about Indigenous knowledge, digital technologies, and remote community capacity.  

The next day BL emailed me from LAX to tell me that he had left his flash drive in my computer.  I asked if he wanted me to FedEx it to him, and he answered that snail mail was okay.  He had another copy of the file, but he did need the keychain that was attached to it.  The keychain, with an image of Mother Mary on one side and Jesús on the other, is a souvenir from the Sanctuario del Milagroso de Buga, Colombia.  It is also clearly a powerful good luck object, even for those of us who are as un-Catholic as they come.

Here is our email exchange:

In a message dated 11/26/2008 10:40:41 A.M. Pacific Standard Time, Brilliant Linguist writes:

Did I leave my NS plugged into your computer?

Sent: Friday, 27 November 2008 5:12 PM
To: Brilliant Linguist
Subject: Re: Nuestra senora

Yes - I just found your NS - uh oh!  Do you need it?

In a message dated 11/26/2008 2:32:34 P.M. Pacific Standard Time, Brilliant Linguist writes:

Don't really need my NS urgently - I think I have everything covered - but am psycho-emotionally attached to it so if you send it by snail mail I'd be grateful.

Sent: Thursday, 27 November 2008 9:06 AM
To: Brilliant Linguist
Subject: Re: Nuestra senora

Maybe I should hold onto NS until CJ is supposed to hear from X University (12/15), then send it to you for Xmas.  How does that sound?

In a message dated 12/18/2008 4:52:46 P.M. Pacific Standard Time, Brilliant Linguist writes:

Okay, how did NS do with her intercessions on behalf of CJ?  Did he make it to X University? Sorry you missed our party – it poured with monsoonal rain and has continued to do so all week – in fact there’s a cyclone warning out.  Hope you have happy hols.  Pls forward NS to me soon as she is of no further use to you.

Sent: Friday, 18 December 2008 5:12 PM
To: Brilliant Linguist
Subject: Re: Nuestra senora

It worked!!!  He got into X University...A true miracle.  He's over the moon.

Will send her back to you to prevent you from being swept away by the cyclone, but will have to borrow her when we start the college process again.

In a message dated 12/18/2008 7:22:08 P.M. Pacific Standard Time, Brilliant Linguist writes:

Wow congrats to CJ (and to NS)

Meanwhile the cyclone is about to hit.

More if we survive.

Sent: Friday, 19 December 2008 10:45 AM
To: Brilliant Linguist
Subject: Re: Nuestra senora 

Whoa - that's really scary.   I hope this wasn't my fault for hanging onto NS.

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So...it seems as if CJ's college acceptance success can be traced to a spiritual turn of events that eventually caused a storm of biblical proportions.  I have sent NS by DHL back to BL, but the Neurotic Parent Institute is still unsure if she arrived in time to prevent major devastation to his city.

 

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601101&sid=ahxTBRuMgxO0&refer=japan

 

 

Stay tuned for Australian cyclone updates.

 

Admissions Envy and Common App Remorse

In the wake of early decision and early action results, the phone lines are buzzing.  Parents all over the country are trying to unravel the mystery of why certain kids got in to certain schools and others were left by the wayside.

The most common discussions:

- Figuring out why 11 students from a certain prestigious school in this neighborhood were all rejected or deferred from Stanford.  And why a legacy kid/inventor was deferred from Yale when he didn't just do model UN; he gave a speech at the real UN.

- Dissecting why some apps were successful and others weren't.  An essay was about Katrina aid = REJECTED!  An essay about gathering up the nerve to sky dive = DEFERRED!  An essay with clever musings about getting lost in Boston = ACCEPTED!  We will never know why, but we can theorize forever.

- Agonizing about mistakes on one's already-submitted Common App.  Once you click, you cannot fix typos, omitted ECs or add a Junior Statesman award.  The Common App asks for a list of extracurriculars which you must rate them in order of importance to you.  Should your son have said that working in the aquarium meant more to him than playing baseball on a traveling team?  Should your daughter have mentioned the archery award she received in eighth grade?  Once you click you can never go back.

- Rehashing the mantra that the deans and guidance counselors and parents of older kids repeat over and over again: They all end up where they're supposed to.  They all end up where they're supposed to.  Fine...But does that apply to the Most Difficult Year for College Admissions in the History of the World?  And what about the six graduates from our school who are thinking of transferring or "taking a year off" to become organic farmers?

Referrals, though cruel because they prolong the uncertainty, can be rationalized.  But there are no easy answers for why some of the most stellar applicants were rejected.  The Neurotic Parent Institute is setting up a College Admissions Investigative unit and will report back soon.

 

Yale or No Yale - Results

A few weeks ago I posted the stats of three kids we know who applied Early Action to Yale.  Some details were disguised (i.e. Varsity Cross Country could be Varsity Tennis; Varsity Baseball could be Varsity Basketball; a double legacy could actually be a multi-generational legacy), but basically the thumbnail descriptions were accurate.

Today at 6 PM EST the decisions were released.  Thousands of off-the-charts kids were deferred or rejected, mirroring the experience of others who received decisions from Stanford on Saturday.  (Disappointed/irate College Confidential posters called these results "The Stanford Slaughter" and the "Bulldog Bloodbath".) 

So how did the Neurotic Parents' friends do?  Yale or No Yale?  Scroll down for the results in CAPS and exclamation points (because all the emails about kids' admissions seem to include both of the above).

Student A:

Caucasion male.  Attends top public school in a mid-Atlantic state.  Ranked #1 in his school.  2380 SAT, no prep, one sitting.  Captain, Varsity Cross Country.  Won a language prize and scholarship to spend a semester abroad as an exchange student.  Selected to do research in prestigous summer program - his evaluator said the student has the one of the greatest scientific minds he has ever encountered.

RESULT: ACCEPTED!!!

Student B:

Caucasion male.  Attends top private school in a western state.  2380 SAT, no prep, one sitting.  4.0 unweighed.  School president.  Varsity Baseball.  Star of every school play - Performed at European arts festival.  Winner of national competitions for two musical instruments. 

RESULT: ACCEPTED!!!

Student C:

Caucasion male.  Double legacy.  Attends small private school in a western state.  Three-sport athelete.  2310 SAT, superscore.  A bona fide genius - 4.0 unweighted without studying.  Started his own internet business - has many customers in Asia.

RESULT: DEFERRED!!!

Coming in March: the Regular Decision Edition of "Yale or No Yale"

ED Etiquette

Q: My son/daughter was accepted early at his/her dream school.  Should I tell my friends, whose kids might have been deferred or rejected?

A: No.  Wait for them to find out through the grapevine, which takes about 5 minutes these days.  But do tell all your relatives, and expect them to ask why you would commit to paying $50,000 tuition a year before hearing from Berkeley.

Q: Theoretically, if you have a satirical blog about the college admissions process and your son or daughter gets accepted early to his absolute dream school, how do you continue to come up with material for the blog?

A: Consider writing about premature separation issues, how to pay for college in this economy, other kids' admissions dramas or senioritis.

Q: Theoretically, if you have a satirical blog about the college admissions process and your son or daughter gets accepted early to his absolute dream school, should you reveal the name of that school to your readers?

A: No.  But you should give your readers subtle hints (such as "Southwest flies there" or "they have seven a capella groups") so they will continue to follow your blog.

Embarrassment of Riches

Shopping List for Lucky ED Applicant:

- 2 T-shirts

- 1 Sweatshirt

- 1 Mug

- 2 car decals

Stay tuned for details on how all this came to pass.

List Your Awards

I, the Neurotic Parent, have been tracking (obsessed with) our older son CJ (Cerebral Jock's) college admissions process since last March.  But that does not mean I have forgotten that I have a younger son, a ninth-grader, whom I will now refer to as BH - Brown or Berkeley Hopeful (depending on what happens with the economy) - formerly known on this blog as Brown'16).

Even though I have neglected BH for the last nine months, he has remained focused on his extracurriculars, and last week came home with his first high-school-level award, which we will save in a folder and report on his college apps in just three short years. 

The Award? The Triple King Challenge:

Here is what the certificate says:

CONGRATULATIONS ON CONQUERING THE TRIPLE KING CHALLENGE

(We deem you King of all Carnivores)

Awarded to:BH

At the: Brentwood Fatburger Restaurant

Witnessed by: Humberto

Date: 11/18/2008

Yes, my son, completely on his own, with odds stacked against him at 5'7" and under 115 pounds, managed to consume an entire Fatburger triple cheeseburger at one sitting.  Okay, he did leave off the pickles and onions, but it's a start - He has a head start on this significant EC....and I wouldn't be surprised if there's a Quadruple King Challenge in his future.

Hackers and Slackers II - Stanford Edition

Prospective Columbia early decision applicants are not the only ones who are impatient about their decisions.  Students waiting to hear from Stanford are anxious as well...and one thinks he (or she, but I'm assuming he's male) might have figured out a way to find out his fate several days in advance. 

On the angst-ridden website College Confidential, obsessed Stanford early action hopefuls have theorized that if their Admissions ID # gets them access to a welcome page on the regular Stanford Students' site, it is very likely they have been accepted. 

skscherTX New Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 24

Possible way to check admission status I thought of an interesting way to check if you are accepted. All of us SCEAers received an email confirming that our applications had been received. This email contains your Stanford ID. Now, try making an account on SUnet (axess) https://sunetid.stanford.edu/main/SUNetIdApp/CreateApp If you successfully make an account, you have been admitted, if not, perhaps rejection. It didn't work for me, so I have likely been rejected. Tell me if this works for anyone.

The thread that follows (http://tinyurl.com/5qe5ys) is a collective panic attack - The method works for some applicants, but not for others.  Those who do have success are now worried that their admission will get rescinded.  Others think their #s work because they took a summer program at Stanford and still have access.  Can't wait to see if skscherTX's method was reliable - If so, maybe he can also come up with a method to change his decision if deferred. 

Hackers and Slackers

Columbia University sent out an email a few hours ago informing its ED candidates that they will be receiving an admissions decision by both email and snail mail on Thursday, rather than next Monday as promised. 

Several students on the College Confidential website, the chat board for future CEOs (if accepted to the Ivy's) and serial killers (if forced to attend their State Us), have figured out how to find out the decision a few days early. 

By email: Change the calendar on your computer; trick it into thinking that it's Friday.

By snail mail: Call FedEx.  Find out if Columbia has sent you a package (if they haven't, they probably sent a regular letter, which means you were denied or deferred).

The Neurotic Parent Institute believes that the student who figured out how to trick his or her computer into delivering an email on an earlier date deserves to be admitted to Columbia. The student who came up with the much simpler plan of calling FedEx already knows how to work the system and does not need to go to college. 

http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/columbia-university/611796-find-out-if-you-accepted-right-now-instructions-inside.html

Four Seasons U

When our kids go off to college, we will no longer be there to spoil them every day.  So, at least in the case of the private schools, it is up to the colleges to take over the pampering.  On many of the tours, CJ saw a standard of living he has not experienced before, not even on the rarified Westside of Los Angeles

- Amazing gyms and workout rooms with new, fancy equipment - the kind you would pay hundreds of dollars a month to belong to here in LA

- International food courts, with salad bars, sushi chefs, fresh-baked pizza, vegan entrees and other exotic fare, often available 24/7.  And, if you can't find something to your liking, your meal plan card can be used in town at dozens of restaurants.

- Opportunities to join hundreds of clubs.  Want to create your own?  No problem, even if you need funding for editing rooms or sailboats or polo sticks.

- Free laptops (Yes, this was an enticement at many schools.)

- Dorms that look like hotel suites, with fireplaces, pool tables and "business centers" stocked wtih brand new printers and scanners.

- 18 hole golf courses, Olympic size swimming pools, art museums, sculpture gardens, plush screening rooms, complementary airport shuttles and free lecture series with fascinating speakers. 

- Opportunities to travel to Barcelona or Capetown or Buenos Aires or Sydney, and other places we would never think of visiting ourselves in today's economy.

So the good news is that if your student is headed to a private school, he or she will enjoy a luxury lifestyle, much like what you get when on vacation. 

Who pays for all this?  Today's WSJ has the answer: Surprise...it's US - the very same stressed-out parents who are cutting back on weekends away in Santa Barbara so we can afford a decent education for our children.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122844276224181879.html

For the students, the only downside to all this luxury is that they actually have to learn something.  If not we might get mad and make them go to community college or pay for their own health club membership.

And, they will have to come to grips with the reality that there will come a day when it all ends, when no longer will somebody pay $50,000 a year for them to play Ultimate Frisbee, take a heli-skiing course or spend six months looking at art in Florence.