The Most Difficult Year to Get into College in the History of the World

Desperate Cry for Help from a Reader

Dear Neurotic Parent,

I have enjoyed reading your blog for the last year, but it is not as fun for me any more because whenever I read it, all I can think about is how much we're spending for our daughter to study philosophy and Latin, two things she will never use in real life, at ________ (cool, prestigious liberal arts school.) 

 

Help!  Find us a grant or a scholarship.  $15,000 a year will help, but more will be appreciated.  This needs to be your new obsession.  You need to find some crazy loophole for money.  This is so you.  You've got to focus on this one. 

 

Everyone appreciates how funny and entertaining you are, but enough is enough.  I can't believe you haven't found some merit money for CJ yet.  I bet you have, and you're keeping it from us.  Please put your attentions to good use.

 

Your fan,

XXX

 

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Dear XXX,

 

Thanks for your letter.  Just when I was all relaxed about the college process, you have elevated my anxiety to a new level.  I will get right on it.

 

Best regards,

The Neurotic Parent

 

 

 

Universities of Hope & Change

It's been a relatively slow news week for college admissions stories because we have had a change of government.  The Neurotic Parent Institute has researched where our new leaders attended college, law school and graduate school.  (DISCLAIMER: Research was conducted on Wikipedia, but everything seems accurate enough.)

So...Does it matter which school you go to?

Barack Obama - Occidental, Columbia, Harvard Law School

Joe Biden - University of Delaware, Syracuse Law School

Hillary Clinton - Wellesley, Yale Law School

Eric Holder - Columbia, Columbia Law School

Rahm Emanuel (Chief of Staff) - Sarah Lawrence, Northwestern

Tom Daschle (Health & Human Services Secy) - South Dakota State

David Axelrod (Sr. Advisor) - Univ. of Chicago

Valerie Jarrett (Sr. Advisor) - Stanford, Univ. of Michigan Law School

Susan Rice (UN Ambassador) - Stanford, Oxford

Robert Gibbs (Press Secy) - North Carolina State

Janet Napolitano (Homeland Security) - Santa Clara University, Univ. of Virginia

Desiree Rogers (White House Social Secy) - Wellesley, Harvard

Gregory Craig (White House Counsel) - Harvard, Cambridge, Yale Law School

Timothy Geithner (Treasury Secy-Designate) - Dartmouth, Johns Hopkins

Ken Salazar (Secy of Interior) - Colorado College, University of Michigan Law School

Steven Chu (Secy of Energy) - Univ. of Rochester, UC Berkeley

Eric Shinseki (Secy of Veteran Affairs) - U.S. Military Academy, Duke

Hilda Solis (Secy of Labor) - Cal Poly, Pomona, USC

Lawrence Summers (Natl. Economic Council Director) - MIT, Harvard

Reggie Love (Personal Aide to the President) - Duke

And, newly updated:

Jon Favreau (Speechwriting Director) - College of the Holy Cross  (Thanks to a reader for correcting me on this - I originally mixed him up with the actor/director, who went to Queens College in NY.  And how bizarre is it that there are two almost-famous people named Jon Favreau?)

Neurotic Parent College Planning

The Neurotic Parent Institute has inadvertantly started a one-stop college planning service.  We are officially into the "lull period", during which high school seniors wait to find out who will accept them - or change their deferred status.  But things are not slow here - Within the last few weeks I have received desperate phone calls from friends and acquaintances who believe that because CJ was accepted early to his dream school, I have to power to come up with plans and solutions for their seniors and juniors.

Here are some of the services I have dutifully performed:

- Critiqued an essay on December 30th (1 day before deadline)

- Planned a junior's college trip to "jocky" schools using Delta miles.

- Presented a brief comparison all of the SAT tutors in SoCal.

- Analyzed emails from UC Berkeley about scholarships to determine if they were sent out to everyone, or just a select few.

- Evaluated summer programs to decide whether they would be viewed as "bogus" by college reps; came up with suggested spin of how to position bogus program on student's resume.

- Convinced dozens of people to add Emory to their students' lists after CJ received a live call from a real person on his cell from Emory on December 30th begging him to apply. 

- Theorized why highly-qualified students were deferred from Wesleyan, Yale and Williams; created strategies and marketing plans to get these kids accepted.

- Agreed to lend my embarrassingly-large library of Michele Hernandez books to the mom of CJ's brilliant and talented goalie friend.

- Extolled the virtues of my two new favorite off-the-radar schools, based on their fabulous mailings: Rice and Kenyon.  Okay, they are both in sucky locations, but you can't have everything.

The best part of the Neurotic Parent college planning services is that although they may not be accurate or fruitful, at least they are free.  Just catch me at a soccer game and ask me about "Tufts Syndrome."

Indigestion = Rejection: Was it the Buffalo Wings?

Rather than get on with my life, I am still pondering why CJ's ED university, a highly-selective elite institution, accepted him over thousands of other equally-qualified applicants.

I may now have the answer: The admissions representative probably enjoyed a delicious meal in our city without suffering gastrointestinal consequences.

Take a look at this post from the Daily Beast.  A college admissions officer, discussing the random and arbitrary nature of the process, admits that she rejected all applicants from Buffalo after she came down with food poisoning there. 

http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-01-09/dirty-secrets-of-college-admissions/full/

World of Wonder Honors Society

CC THREAD OF THE DAY: Can Video Games be Listed as an Extracurricular on College Apps?

http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-admissions/628881-video-games-college-application.html

This is a very exciting possibilty for the Neurotic Parent.  My own kids are not gamers (they are too busy managing their fantasy sports teams), but I, the Neurotic Parent, have many hours of useless electronics under my belt:

- the Pin Ball Queen in undergraduate school

- a Pong star after graduation

- an accomplished Ms. Pac Man player in between my two marriages, and

- a level-9 high-scoring Tetris aficianado - in fact, I still play Tetris on long flights

- an international Word Twist participant (although I can't compete with anyone under 20)

Can I put these accomplishments on my own resumé?

CC Anonymous

Just because my son was lucky enough to have gained early acceptance to his dream school, it doesn't mean I have to stop being a neurotic parent.  Of course I can worry about our younger son, BH.  He did pick up a new award over the vacation (1st Place, Team Penning - cooperative cattle-rustling skills, not something you see on every college resume).  That award could conteract the B+ he expects in English. 

But now it's my job to find something else to feed my stress level...a nasty addiction perhaps?

Yes, it's true.  Much as I try, I cannot survive without a daily fix of the most annoying website on the web, College Confidential.  Now that CJ is on the other side of SATs, SAT IIs, and EC building, you would think I would stop caring about kids who spend their Saturday nights chatting with strangers about whether their 2380, TASC selection and NMF status will qualify them for BME at MIT. 

But I just can't seem to stay away from the bizarre combination of parental smugness and adolescent low self esteem at www.collegeconfidential.com. 

So in an attempt to justify my obsessive CC visits, for the next week I will publish links to CC's most entertaining threads.

CC THREAD OF THE DAY #1: CLAM FARTING

As a joke, a student wrote on his common app that his primary extracurricular activity was "Clam Farting".  And, if you can believe him, he was still accepted to Yale.

http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/what-my-chances/470497-clam-fart-oh-my-god-what-did-i-do.html

CC Anonymous

Just because my son was lucky enough to have gained early acceptance to his dream school, it doesn't mean I have to stop being a neurotic parent.  There is always our younger son, BH, to worry about.  He did pick up a new award over the vacation (1st Place, Team Penning - cooperative cattle-rustling skills, not something you see on every college resume).  That award could serve to conteract the B+ he expects in English. 

But now it's my job to find something else to stress about...a nasty addiction perhaps?

Yes, it's true.  Much as I try, I cannot survive without a daily fix of the most annoying website on the web, College Confidential.  Now that CJ is on the other side of SATs, SAT IIs, and EC building, you would think I would stop caring about kids who spend their Saturday nights discussing whether their 2380, TASC selection and NMF status will qualify them for BME at MIT. 

But I just can't seem to stay away from the bizarre combination of parental smugness and juvenile low self esteem at www.collegeconfidential.com. 

So in an attempt to justify my obsessive CC visits, for the next week I will publish links to CC's most entertaining threads.

CC THREAD OF THE DAY #1: CLAM FARTING

As a joke, a student wrote on his common app that his primary extracurricular activity was "Clam Farting".  And, if you can believe him, he was still accepted to Yale.

http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/what-my-chances/470497-clam-fart-oh-my-god-what-did-i-do.html

An Error Has Ocurred

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/01/education/01apply.html?_r=2&ref=education