The Most Difficult Year to Get into College in the History of the World

Countdown to Commencement 2009

Tomorrow at 4:30.  Can it really be?

Survived the Senior Breakfast, the Prom Photo Op and the Pre-K Reunion - and the 50th birthday of one of my youngest friends.  Now it's the night before graduation...and the Neurotic Parent Institute has documented that even the least neurotic parents in the grade have become basket cases. 

Some ubiquitous developmental issues:

- Spending hours going through photos, posting them on Facebook, emailing them back and forth, choking up about not just how cute your grad was...but at what a young-looking mom you once were.

- Agonizing over whether to give the grad a gift (in addition to the requisite $2000 computer...and the $200k college education.)

- Discovering in horror that your prom photos are blurry and you need a new camera

- Doing hours of online research about which camera to get

- Deciding at the last moment to self-publish a book for your grad because you're not the scrapbooking type and you have 18 years of memorabilia stacked up in large industrial tupperware containers.  So you spend hours selecting precious art works and research papers to include in a gift from the heart...but then you realize that it will be a lot easier to do a photo montage.

- Abandoning the montage idea because choosing the music proves to be too much to handle emotionally

- Deciding at the last moment to write a poem for your grad...but getting stuck when it comes to the tone: should it be comedic (for him) or poignant (for you)?

- Being interrupted from your poetry writing by a group of 18 hungry Lakers fans who have stopped by unannounced to watch Game 5.

- Realizing suddenly you have nothing to wear, especially nothing that looks good with flats (no heels allowed on the turf)

- Calling various parents of the Class of 2008 for advice about what time to arrive and where to park.

- Developing what you think is stress-related carpal tunnel syndrome and finding out it's stress-related pre-arthritis. 

- Accepting that not only has your baby grown up, but that suddenly you are the mother of...an adult.

School's Out...Forever

Yesterday at 3 PM the bell rang and the entire senior class squeezed onto an outdoor stage for a group hug.  Then they lit up cigars - not a very P.C. tradition (at the most P.C school on the planet), but symbolic nonetheless.  They may have had senioritis for the last 3 months, but now they can slack off as much as they want...they're done.

CJ didn't come straight home because he had also graduated from Traffic School this weekend and  had to deliver his certificate to the courthouse.  But my younger son BH (who experienced his own milestone yesterday - no more braces) brought home the yearbook - the best I have ever seen...so cool, with such cutting edge design, impressive illustrations and clever copy that I want to send CJ back for another four years to experience the studio art and creative writing classes he never signed up for. 

Laughing and crying as I went through the pages, I decided that we had indeed made an excellent choice in sending our kids to a quirky progressive school rather than to a more cookie cutter institution.  After all, it's the journey, not the destination (not that CJ's destination is too shabby).  I felt proud of my own son, but mostly in awe of the class as a whole...so many of them are already producing collectible art, important music and readable prose.  And those who are just normal kids still came up with entertaining, insightful and self-effacing "most likely to's" for themselves. 

- Most likely to spike the punch with lemonade

- Most likely to survive because of what he learned on the Discovery Channel

- Most likely to become Japanese

- Most likely to have gone through a phase of being your friend

- Most likely to beat up his opponent after losing in the semi-finals at the ping pong world championship

- Most likely to quote from "Friends" in her wedding vows

- Most likely to have a font named after him

- Most likely to have an overly suggestive senior page (photo shows student proposing to his history teacher)

- Most likely to owe more in alimony than student loans

- Most likely to teach her children the wrong colors

- Most likely to hit on your grandfather at graduation

These kids may not have memorized the Preamble to the Constitution, but they are ALL ready to work for Jon Stewart.  If CJ stays in touch with just a fraction of the Class of 2009, he won't need to make any connections in college because there is a creative energy in his midst that transcends college choice.

My one disappointment with the yearbook? CJ's senior photo is ridiculous. Another tradition in our progressive school - on par with the cigars - is to pose for a silly photo, the kind you would take in a photo booth.  (Somehow I never knew about this custom or saw the embarrassingly juvenile portrait of my son until yesterday, even though it's on his student I.D.)  So CJ's main yearbook photo shows him wearing a too-small baseball cap and holding a large....wooden fish.  Seven or eight of his close friends are also photographed with same nautical artifact, making funny faces.  This was their first stab at performance art, which has a time and a place, but in this case unfortunately was captured for posterity.   The Neurotic Parent fears that CJ's grandchildren will notice the random fish and the dumb baseball cap and come to a conclusion that their grandfather was a nutcase - or else just a really happy teen with many Friends for Life.

Season Finale

So, after an 18-year run, it's time for the finale of our children's childhoods.

If you have a high school senior, I hope you don't have a time-consuming job, because there's an event practically every day and every night, all leading up to the end of Parenting as you know it.

Typical Schedule for Senior Parents (taken from my calendar), rated by quantity of Kleenex :(K-KKKK)

- Varsity Soccer Play-offs/Awards Party - KK

- Senior Parent Separation Night - KK

- Final Club Soccer National Cup Semi-finals - KK

- Last Meal at In 'n Out Following the Quarter-finals in the Inland Empire - K

- "Lifers" Assembly - Graduating K-12 seniors share memories and impart wisdom to tiny kids from the elementary school...it truly was just yesterday that our own children were so little - KKKK

- Senior Dog Day (bring your best friend to school - our over-retrieving pet loved AP Calc BC) - KK

- Last Regular Season Volleyball Game - Senior moms get a rose - KKKK

- Final MRI/ER visit of regular season volleyball - KK

- Club Soccer Awards Dinner - KK (CJ had to miss this because of above injury, but after thirteen years of soccer, this was a real tearjerker)

- Senior Show - KKKK (and I don't even have a kid in theater)

- Last Taco Dinner Delivered by the Neurotic Parent to Journalism Class during Newspaper Production - K

- Trip to tux rental place (the salesman asked CJ what color his prom date's dress was, and he found out by text that it was...turquoise) - K

- Final Grad Night Committee Meeting (I am part of a secret society planning a sober all-night activity to follow Graduation) - K

-Senior Boys Day (this was an event at another school, but I cried just hearing about it) - KKKK

UPCOMING (all in a period of eight days) - Volleyball Award Night, Prom Photo Op, Preschool Moms Coffee, Pre-K BBQ Reunion/Grad Party, Parent Association Thank You Breakfast, Senior Breakfast/Awards, Lifers Cocktail Party, Senior Dinner at Headmaster's House, Graduation, Grad Night, Post-Grad Night Breakfast , Summer of Xanax, and then on to that life-changing mid-August weekend - Move-In, which thankfully they don't call Move-Out...but isn't that what it really is?

Qs from Readers

Q: So what school did CJ end up picking? Did I miss the decision in an earlier post?

A: If you can find me on Facebook, as one astute (Harvard-educated) reader did, I will reveal the name of the school.  Otherwise I have been instructed to wait and "tell all" in the book.

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Q: I have been trying to reach you on the gmail address, but my emails keep bouncing back.

A: Don't forget the "the":  theneuroticparent@gmail.com

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Q: I just read your blog. Hilarious! Please don't stop when you send CJ off to Dream school. I've got a 2010 and 2012 and would love to follow along with you and BH.

I want to subscribe but there seems to be a bug in the subscription link. Would you please check it out and let me know when it's fixed. (Or if the problem is my own user error.)

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A: Thanks for your kind words.  I emailed the nice folks at Typepad about this.  Here is their response:

"Hi there, Thanks for contacting us.  When I view the feed validator results, it looks like you are copying and pasting some content from another application, such as Word.  Microsoft Word's formatting code does not work well when merged with the Rich Text editor. Copying content from Word can cause formatting problems, error messages, and feed validation problems.  The code that is copied over into your posts when pasting from Word is the source of the issue with your feed. The issue with Microsoft Word formatting code is not unique toTypePad's Rich Text Editor. Any editor that copies over formatting will cause issues such as this - because the code that Microsoft Word inserts is not web-compatible."

Are they kidding - Microsoft Word is not kosher for bloggers - Who knew? Now they want me to go back and change all the posts I composed in incompatible formatting codes?!?  I would even have to replace the answer I just pasted above (from an email).  Sounds like a great summer project for a student intern.  No pay, but a great resume builder. 

Meanwhile, sorry about not being able to subscribe, but you can get to the blog easily by going to www.theneuroticparent.com  Don't forget the "the" or you'll end up at the blog of the parent of a toddler who is paranoid about germs.

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Q: Was the Oberlin story a fictionalized version of our story?  If not, it's a huge coincidence.  Several months after receiving big envelopes from 8 or 9 school and having resolved his Wesleyan/Oberlin debate, SFB (Smart, Funny Bohemian) was dragging his feet about writing a gap year request letter. I said I'd print out the mailing label for him and went into the envelope to see exactly to whom it should be addressed. There was an un-opened business size letter included among the various forms;  when I opened it there was his merit scholarship - but it was only for $32,000. Could always be more, but better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.

A: "A poke in the eye with a sharp stick"?!?...You sound like you're from Ohio, not Beverly Hills! I do fictionalize info on this blog, especially about the the LACs, but the Oberlin story was NOT yours - It referred to a 2009 HS. graduate, not a 2008 gap year grad, like your son SFB.  I do now remember that you DID tell me that story.  Maybe everyone who gets into Oberlin finds a scholarship after coming to a decision.  There is something so beautiful about that, cosmically justifying teenage flakiness.

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Q: Help! Where should I stay for parents' day at Carleton College in Northfield, Minnesota?  Everything is already booked!

A: Make sure you accept a spot on the waiting list of your top B&B.  Write an additional essay, and keep updating the innkeepers with news of any recent honors or awards you have won.  And above all, don't give up hope.  You will end up in the right place for you.

Oberlin or No Oberlin - Strange But True Admissions Stories

One of CJ's classmates, TMTK (Talented Musical Theater Kid) was fortunate to receive acceptances to several of his top choice colleges.  After much deliberation, he narrowed his list down to two schools - Oberlin and Middlebury, then spent the next 15 days vascillating.  Finally, on the evening of April 31st, one day before deposits were due, TMTK called his parents from a rehearsal and told them that he had finally had made up his mind. 

He said he would be attending....Oberlin.

Thrilled that he had reached a decision (and worried that he would change his choice again), TMTK's parents volunteered to send in the acceptance card right then and there.  TMTK agreed and told his dad where to find the Big Envelope with the Oberlin info.  The smart father entered his son's room, and located the card.  But there, underneath his pile of acceptances there was a small unopened envelope, also from Oberlin.  The dad tore it open and found a letter from Oberlin stating that TMTK was the proud recipient of a $50,000 scholarship...an unexpected award that proved that there IS a higher being making sure that "they all end up in the right place".

 

Yale or No Yale - Final, Definitive Results

Time for the long-awaited decisions of three "embarrassment of riches" kids I know.  All received acceptances to Yale as well as to Harvard, Stanford, Princeton, Brown, Williams, Duke, etc. etc. 

I know I promised to post these results on May 1st and feel terrible that my curious readers have had to wait an extra day, but I have some excellent excuses for my tardiness:

- Day job obligations took me to far-away meetings with low-battery Blackberry.

- Volunteered to help at time-consuming and emotionally-draining kindergarten reunion assembly

- Just when I thought it was all over, soccer mom stress escalated to a new high.  Look for a future post about the National Cup quarter finals, CJ's debilitating illness, the intrepid juniors who had to take their SAT IIs in Temecula (or race there from Calabasas), our teams' amazing PKs, and the urgent care doctor who proclaimed CJ free of all strains of influenza, including Swine. 

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Now, back to the Yale results:

STUDENT A - East coast science genius/language prize winner/tennis captain/future Nobel winner accepted at Yale (EA), Harvard, Princeton, Penn, Duke, Williams, Amherst & Swarthmore.  FINAL DECISION: YALE!

STUDENT B - West coast superhuman musical genius/class president/basketball hero/future U.S. president accepted at Yale (EA), Harvard & Stanford.  FINAL DECISION: YALE! (Received gracious phone call from Harvard admissions office wishing him luck.)

STUDENT C - West coast out-of-the-box genius/three-sport athlete/next Steve Jobs/double Yale legacy deferred EA, then accepted RD at Yale, Brown, Penn, Wash U, Rice &Tufts.  Visited all six on his own last week. FINAL DECISION:  BROWN!

So it's two Yales, one Brown.  Imagine the feeling of the click that turns down Harvard, Stanford, Princeton...or Yale.  It's a good thing that the offspring of the Neurotic Parent did not have such a decision to make - CJ would probably not ever have glanced back at the roads not taken, but certainly I would have agonized about his missed opportunities for years.

Will keep you updated about the progress of these decisive young men, who are not only talented students, but know themselves well enough to select a school that's the right fit.

TOMORROW: Oberlin or No Oberlin (First in a series of Strange-But-True college admissions tales.)